Two Springs and a Picnic

[Seraphina]

Eyes narrow playfully at Yami, “What are you up to?” she teases. “But I can send them to you.” It would be interesting to see what Yami did with them.

“Medicine?” then shakes her head, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Then chuckles, “This was back when I had my apartment. And had never given much thought to the dangers of it. See, what happened is I bought my first house, and it was decided that our club would have a pool party. So I put up fliers at the club, without taking into account what would happen if one of Them saw the fliers. The danger I put not only myself in, but everyone else as well. So I sold that house and bought anew one and have been extremely careful since. Things look different when you realize what the dangers are. Now I’m sure there are some who think I let him change me, but it’s not true. I made the decision myself, and believe being extra careful is important.” Hence why her Hollow was attached to the house. A quick escape if she needed. “This might sound odd, but not every date has to end with you going to bed with someone. Sometimes building up to that moment is magical and builds a solid foundation for a relationship. But that’s not to say that a solid foundation cannot be built sleeping together on the first date, because it can. Just depends on many factors.” But sex had never been a main desire for her.

A solemn nod, “He was, and his stories were wonderful! Plus, he could cook! We had a one on one meeting and he cooked me a meal he had just killed. Think you would have enjoyed him.” But Yami seemed to like everyone. Not that it was a bad thing. “Sometimes all someone needs is for someone to take a chance on them. It can be life changing.” Not that she could relate per say. But as a recovered addict, she knew that second chances could change everything.

A small grimace, “Yeah, I can understand why she got upset now. Personally, I’ve noticed triggers lately that I never knew about. Ones that brought back memories I never wanted to remember. Ones that become stronger with,” a pause, “age.” Sure, lets call it age. But, she had no better word for it. Looking thoughtful, then after a moment, she shakes her head, “No, I don’t think you can. I know you cannot truly love someone else until you love yourself. So there, a ringing endorsement for self-love!” though she had trouble with it herself.

Shaking her head, “You have nothing to be sorry for! If I had a single lady friend who was looking, I would set you up in a heartbeat! But of course, only if I felt she deserved you.”

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Giggling a bit and shaking her head.
"I cannot tell you that, it would ruin the surprise." Smiling a happy smile "I can tell you that he will hopefully love it and if not so will it at least be a warm surprise." And most likely something they didn't have.

Biting down on her lip a bit and looking a bit ashamed.
"I started seeing a therapist in Summer I think and she prescribed me a medicine whose side effect is libido decreasing. Still it feels a bit frightening to actually take it as I wouldn't know how it would effect me and would I still be me?" Looking down, it was far to scary.

Listening intently to the story before shaking her head.
"No it does not, it sounds like he have affected you though. That he have opened your eyes to see to the dangers of our lives and that you have taken it to heart."

Gently smiling and trying to dream away.
"It's not odd at all, it actually sounds quite nice. It would be really nice to go on a date with someone that sat down the rule to not sleep before the third date." Giving her Queen a warm look. "Now that would mean that they actually wanted me for me and not just for my bedroom skills, true it would be hard for me to hold back that long but it would be amazing." Taking a slow deep breath. "Don't be afraid to speak your mind or think that things you say sounds odd. Your words and viewpoints are interesting to hear and I deeply value your insights not to mention that I care about you and want you to be able to feel free to speak your mind in my presence." Hope that didn't sound to strange.

Looking up to the stars.
"Still his memory lives on in you, he sounds like a interesting man." This world were sadly to cruel. "Yes sometimes just need someone to give us a chance or give us a second chance. That is part of why I try to be welcoming with all new ones we get, to show them a welcoming smile and feel like someone cares about them."

Looking a bit ashamed.
"We all have triggers, wounds and faults that is just part of being us, nothing says that we even know them all. I errored that's a fact it came from a good place but it were wrong of me. Still she did ask me out after so she probably forgave me." Giving her Queen time to think "To let someone else in when you cannot even let yourself in would be hard."

Looking surprised.
"Deserved me? Now that doesn't sound hard." Who didn't? "That reminds me, think Sonnie and lawyer guy will be the next to tie the knot after you?"

[Seraphina]

Smiling, “I’m sure it will be wonderful and that he’ll love it.”

A look of concern, “If you don’t want to take it, you don’t have to. But if it was prescribed as part of therapy, I’m sure she has your best interest at heart.” Now the bigger issue, “You are so much more than your sexuality, or your sex drive. That is just a part of you. Look at all your other wonderful qualities! You’re kind, thoughtful, dedicated to those around you, and always there when needed. That is who I think of when I think about you. If it worries you that much, then don’t take them. But at least know that you’re special without a high libido.” But Yami would have to accept that on her own. When she was ready.

Nodding, “He has affected me, and there are just some risks I cannot take anymore. I need to look out for you guys, and help keep you safe. If that means a few sacrifices,” a shrug, “then so be it.” It wasn’t just about her anymore.

“Is it odd that someone would want you for you, not for your skills in the bedroom?” she asks. “Because lets be honest here, no one knows anothers skills until they are in bed together. When going on a first date, just live in the moment, share stories, get to know the other person. Ask them questions about what they enjoy, what their hopes are, you know, general getting to know you questions. Leave out sexually charged questions. Sure, some flirty signals here and there, but focus on the person, who they are. I think you’d be surprised by the results.” A shallow nod, “I feel the same about you, I want you to be comfortable speaking your mind. I don’t judge.” Not with her past.

“We all have a past, and we all have things we’re not proud of, things that shame or embarrass us. Which is why it’s important to give second chances, to learn about someone before casting them aside. Something each of us knows all too painfully about. But you should still be careful, keep your guard up. Some will come with a kind smile and turn our own kindness against us.” She hated to think that way, but it was the truth. Some would come to their Freehold only to burn it from the inside.

“Unfortunately, I think as we age we each will discover new trigger points. But you acknowledged your fault, and that’s all someone can really ask.” New triggers were popping up for her. It wasn’t pleasant.

Snickering, “I’m not so sure about her and him. I don’t get that vibe from them, but, I could be wrong.”

[Yamiyo Lillich]

A kind smile upon her face.
"Depends how much he enjoys things of memories, still it's way better than my jacket idea." That was the emergency gift.

Looking down whilst nibbling some veggies.
"I faked my way into being diagnosed with HSD, it's not a complete lie of course it's just that it comes from other" moving her wings a bit to point to her succubus nature "sources than most. Still medicine does alter the brain chemistry which is scary."

Softly wiping away a tear from her cheek.
"Note for the future always bring a tissue when meeting up with you, your sweetness makes my eyes far to watery." Now that kindness were perhaps the freeholds biggest treasure. "Your words are really warm but in honesty so do I think it will be better if I fight the craving without medical aid, then I will not change or lose myself at least." Or get to tired down or distracted to be herself.

"There are two people in this world. Those who grows, evolves and look to be better every day and those whom have found their place and just stops. Now the second type is pretty much to slowly kill yourself, learn from others and grow as long as we keep doing that so is the world and it's possibilities endless." Smiling towards her Queen. "No matter what people think so is it your way of growing and that takes strength."

Taking a moment to answer.
"Well most people get surprised by my actual skills but and not to tooth my own horn here but people do tend to find me fitting for their sexual preferences and as such start up flirts for the aim of a warm bed for the night. Not that I don't do the same to still my urges." Or well used to until the brain started working against her. "Still your way sounds a lot better, just new and not what I am truly good at." Freezing up for a second. "Even if it's close to what my work entails." True that had other agendas and she played a role there though. "That's very sweet of you."

"We do, in earnest I might even have unintentionally been a bit deceitful myself."Not that I meant to. "My ears works fine, they have ever since my trip." Durance "I couldn't handle sound though so I used earplugs to diminish it, stopped using them around the start of Autumn." Or well at least when the noise weren't to high.

"Thanks, and we all have them I know for sure I do." It was an odd one though.

"You know her best so if you think so then you're most likely right."

[Seraphina]

Memories could be touchy with him, But this could be different, “I think if they are memories he was happy in, he will love them. And a jacket?” she’d debated spinning him a jacket, but it had been a work and idea in progress.

“That does sound scary. What do you want to do? Try the medication? Or not? This is a decision that is only yours, and you need to do what you feel is best for you. But know that I will stand by you and support you, no matter you decide.” As the Monarch, and her friend, she needed to support Yami.

“Aww, don’t cry!” and she reaches into one of the coolers and pulls out a zip lock bag with napkins inside. Opening it, she pulls one out and hands it to her fellow Spring. “Then if that is what you decide, I’m here for you. If you’re struggling, call me, day or night. Even if you just need to scream in frustration, I can still listen.” A small chuckle.

“Technically, after having a trip to the hospital, and getting injured on a group outing, I might have tried to slowly kill myself.” She says with a laugh.

“And there’s nothing wrong with that. One-night stands are normal for people just looking to get their needs met for the night. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Nope. “But you need to do what works for you and what you want in life. And I know you are good at a lot of things! You’re dedicated, you’re improving yourself with school, the list goes on. So try focusing on all the other things you are truly good at.” She always thought there was more to someone than just one thing.

Grabbing a piece of cucumber, “I don’t view it as deceitful, not in the slightest. You were doing what made you comfortable and brought, in a way, a sense of security.” They all had ways to make themselves feel safe and secure.

Shrugging, “Not sure if I know her best, but it’s just what I’ve seen. I love watching people and how they interact with those around them. Everyone has little tells when they’re happy or upset, or just not having a good time. Maybe that’s another reason I opened a coffee shop, to people watch more.”

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Looking around a bit.
"Ohh if things goes as I hope so will it be lovely and something he really doesn't have." Nibbling on some of the treats. "Yes that's basically my gift idea for those I have no clue what to get."

Looking up towards the sky.
"It's nice to know that I have it should I need it but taking it no not unless it creates severe issues or I make something that someone else have to pay for." Therapy was still there at least. "That's very sweet of you should remember that all of us are here if you need someone as well, we all need support at times."

Taking the tissue to softly dab herself.
"Don't worry it's just you being to sweet, it's good tears." Slowly shaking her head. "No you need to sleep at night, just like you I listen and want to see if we can aid you in your sleeping issues." Not that she knew how.

Her eyes growing big at the confession, taking a couple of seconds before rapidly throwing out questions.
"That's awful, when did this happen? Do you ever feel like that now? Do you need a hug? To talk about something?" Leaning over to try and give her Queen a warm gentle hug. "You are a wonderful and beloved woman."

Shrugging a bit.
"Sneaking, charming and seduction along with escaping sure but to know your strengths means that you know where to improve, just you wait one day I will be someone the community can depend on just like you. Along with finding the right girl for me."

Breathing out in relief.
"That's a relief to hear, it still felt like a lie here now. Still it's weird to hear things so clearly, the world of silence did bring it's own merits and defines you a lot." Not to mention the cut off from a whole community she were just no longer a part of.

"What? Then who would know her best? Of all I have seen so do the two of you seem to be the closest." Giggling a bit. "Are you sure that you're not downplaying yourself here? I'm pretty sure no one knows her like you do." Smiling at her. "Now that explains how you can be so good with people, what kind of people do you like to see the most?"

[Seraphina]

Giggling, “It’s always the thought that counts with gifts.” Least that was how she always viewed them. Even if she didn’t like a gift, she loved the that someone was thinking about her when they got it. “Nothing wrong with jackets! One can never have too many.” Nope. Have to have one for every outfit and occasion.

There was only a nod. She enjoyed the sentiment, but probably would never take her up on it. The Nix never liked to rely on someone else.

“Sleeping at night is good, but nothing bad happens during the day. It always seems to be in the evenings, which is why I leave my cell on at night.” They were unpredictable. One never knew when there might be an attack. “I’ve been having help, but it’s a matter of me facing the nightmares and taking my dreams back. It’s a struggle, but my fiancé has been helping me when I ask. I think, with time, I’ll overcome them.” But how long that would be, she didn’t know.

“What? When I was in the hospital? That was a couple years ago, a simple sparring accident.” Accident to her, others disagreed. “The incident in the woods was more recent. But I don’t like to draw attention to when I’ve been hurt as I’d rather focus on everyone else.” Then realizing something, “I wasn’t trying to get myself killed. But I tend to think I can do everything, when in reality, I can’t.” accepting the hug, she returns it, “And I’m fine. Really, everything is good. I now know and accept that some things are better left to Sonnie and Mary.” A laugh and shrug.

Her face softens, “The community knows it can depend on you. You’ve answered the call to lend a hand when asked. To me, that shows you are dependable. Learning your strengths will come with time and with failures. You will fail at something, and you will then bust you butt and improve on it. But never let someone tell you that you are not needed or not dependable. Because then they’re going to have to talk with me, and I am not always nice.” A wink at the end. Sera could be a bitch and nasty when she needed to. “And I’m sure we’ll find you someone. She’s out there.” And she sounded sure.

“What merits did it bring? I’ve never known someone who couldn’t hear, so if the question is insulting or intrusive, I apologize.” It was her intent, but she was curious.

Laughing, “Maybe Fugly?” still laughing, “But in all honesty, I’ve never pried into her personal life. I always figured if she wanted to discuss it, she would. Otherwise, it feels, I don’t know, rude to ask? Maybe rude isn’t the right word. But I’ve never had many friends, so I’m still learning what’s appropriate to ask about and what isn’t.” she had a lonely childhood, not being allowed to hangout with friends. “I don’t think I’m that great with people, I just listen and pay attention. People like it when you listen to what they say and form your conversation around what they say. I’ve just had to learn to read people to get by, yes, a former life, but some skills stick with you.” She was sure Yami would understand that. “What people do I like seeing the most? Hmm, never been asked that before. But I think I enjoy the ones with stories, the unique ones who you can tell are true to themselves despite what anyone else says.”

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Nodding.
"That is true but it's nicer with a gift that touches the person or signifies something than a gift bought cause you didn't know what to give them." At least she enjoyed that more. "No arguments there and the jacket does come with a lot of extra finesses." Still a gift that would be given to more than one this Christmas.

Softly smiling, not wanting to press the matter they all opened up when and if they were ready.

Taking a moment to reflect upon the words, so nightmares is why she cannot sleep now that is another story.
"Have you considered to try a dream journal? It was something they often told us when we spoke with doctors of childhood nightmares. Write them down, sort your own thoughts and try to find even the smallest of things from the nightmare in real life and best it, every tiny step is a improvement." It had worked for her at least but those were childhood nightmares.

Warmly embracing her Queen not letting go until she would be given a sign to do so.
"No one can do everything, we come together to help and support one another. Together we are strong, together we can stand against anything but alone we would all crumble. Let each person help you with all they can and support them with all that you can do. Do not try to carry the burden all by yourself." That would be bad for them all.

Laughing a bit.
"Ohh I have been working on something for the future that might help, still waiting for a lock to play with though." Those were fun. "I have several of them at home to keep my fingers busy." Best way to stop her thieving hands. "Of course she is and she´s taller than me." Laughing on "Not that it's much of a feat." 150cm were not hard to surpass.

Slowly shaking her head.
"It gives you a community, if you meet someone else who cannot hear you will feel a connection with them often getting along quite well at least at first. You are part of a community that the hearing can never understand, you face a lot that others do not so you have something that binds you together." Those were warm and nice things. "You can always disappear into a book with ease even when people around you is shouting, playing loud music or screaming it's so much easier to sink into your own little world. All you need is to focus your sight and mind, to remove all sounds is already done for you." Perhaps that sounded a bit odd?

Looking towards her Queen with warm kind eyes.
"True but a dog is the closest friend a human can have." Chuckling a bit. "Friendship takes time to develop, people open up when they are ready but a true friend also knows not to push. I am sure she trusts you and feel close to you, maybe she have things she isn't ready to share just yet but we both know you will be there when and if she is."

Softly nodding.
"That sounds like empathy and being able to take others feelings in and to show an interest in them, that would make anyone feel warm, respected and safe. It's a great skill to have and it means a lot if you do not have it but rather is just genuine with it." Easy to fake, hard to truly posses. "Now that sounds like intriguing people."

[Seraphina]

Nodding as well, “Oh, of course! There should always be thought behind a gift, instead of getting one because you felt you had to.” But she would always love whatever someone gave her. It was just how she was. “I think I have too many jackets! But it’s so hard to not get one when you know it would look amazing with a dress. Impulse control is something I lack at times.” Giggling.

“I have. But for me, I know why I keep having them, and what I need to do. It’s about facing my past and taking back my power. But there is a part of me that cannot move past it. Someday I will, and I assure you, Rhodes has been a tremendous help. Talking me through what I can do, being there when I wake up screaming, and doing everything in his power to make it easier.” But she knew she had to face it on her own, take herself back.

A small nod, “It’s been hard for me to accept that I cannot do it all, and that I have people around me to help. I’m making progress, but it’s difficult. After you’ve been on your own for so long, you need to learn to accept help from others. But I’m working on it, and it’s getting easier each day. Thankfully, you guys are all wonderful and amazing.” It made it a bit easier.

Her face lights up, “Oh! Exciting!” it was sounding like Yami was going to be their go to for any break and enters. “I didn’t know you could get those to play with.” But it was neat though. “I used to hate my height, made me feel like an outcast among my much shorter peers.” Sure, it had its benefits for pageants, but it still was miserable.

As she listens, she nods here and there, “I never thought about that. Do you feel like you don’t have a community now?” would be good to know. “Oh, that would be amazing! Being able to read with a whole bunch of things going on around you.” Maybe noise cancelling headphones?

“She really helped me when I had the issues with my hands.” Sure, lets call translucent hands an issue. “It was nice to be able to confide my insecurities with her and feel like she truly cared.” Sonnie was a great friend. “Exactly, that’s why I never push someone. I let them decide if they want to share with me or not. But I make sure they know I have their back either way. But yeah, sometimes just knowing someone is there makes the word of difference.” With how hard trust was with them, you had to let people move at their own pace.

“Everyone should feel warm and respected. And I’ve found it helps when I talk with the women at the shelter. They often just need someone to listen and not judge, give them respect and just be there. So I’m always trying to improve on that.” It also helped that she had been in their shoes before. Had the bruises and knew how broken down you became. “You’d be amazed at the stories have! Especially the elderly, and they love the chance to share them.” She just liked people.

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Softly smiling.
"Most of us will most likely be alone for Christmas so I wanted to get one for each member here to show them that someone is thinking of them. Say do we have any standing Christmas events or should I just go ahead and look for some locale to book?" Spending Christmas together would be nicer than alone. "Impulse control, are we supposed to have that when shopping?" Giggling a bit, stars knew she had no control there when she had money.

Softly nodding and smiling.
"Well if you ever need a hug or just a new bed to sleep in so am I always here for you." Taking a moment before she realizes what she has said, quickly waving her hands and shaking her head. "Of course I meant that you would get the bed for yourself nothing else just that if you need a change of venue so am I here for you." Damn innuendos.

Chuckling a little.
"Then take your time, just remember one twig is easy to break but take a dozen in your hands at the same time and you won't be able to break even one." Seemed they both had issues to deal with, hopefully she would be able to help her Queen with hers sometime as well.

Quickly moving her excited fingers a bit and suddenly holding a grape in her right hand.
"It's all about finger maneuvering and sensing your area. Locks may not be meant to play with but I buy all different ones I can find and tosses the keys in a bowl then I hang them up, taking them down, locking them and unlock them without keys whilst watching some easy show, it's wonders for these hands." Giving her a kind smile. "That's sad, I always loved my height made it so easy to slip through things and disappear in the taller masses. Still you're a true beauty and marvelous with your height even if Ellie is taller."

Shaking her head.
"No I traded one for another you could say, but I do miss the feeling of the deaf one at times which is part of why I always sign." Do not forget your roots. "It was nice yes, and you didn't need to hear all the harsh words either."

Smiling towards her.
"See you had an issue and went to her and she was there for you, you are each others closest friend little amazon I am sure she feels the same." It was nice that the Queen could talk with someone about her issues. "And that is why we all love you, not cause we have to but cause you're the sweetest of lights in a ocean of darkness."

"That they should, I have been thinking of using winter and Summer break to start reading to the elderly or the sick might be a good way to give people some joy. Do you know any place that have such programs?" Thinking for a second. "What's your favorite story?"