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  1. #11
    Gerrit's Avatar
    New Identity
    (Gerrit Jameson)
    Gerrit

    Mien:
    Leathery scars, bruises and scaly scabs cover the whole hairless body. There is a certain symmetry to the disfigurements, the color of the visible skin ranging from pale pink to purple and dark red. Lately patches of dark blue and black - frostbite - have appeared on his skin and some of the scabs have frozen over and crystalized.
    His right hand shows a copper-coloured, wilted and flaky scar, engulfing most of his palm and the inside of his wrist. Next to frostbite and bruised scars it adds a third layer of wounds bore by the Ogre.

    Mantle:
    Contrast seem to grow slightly more stark around Gerrit, the crisp clearness of a winter morning. Sometimes the sound of ice forming or breaking can be heard in a short, brisk snap. When using Contracts a subtle, biting cold can be felt around Gerrit - pins and needles prick both the Onyx and those close to him.

    Crown:
    Solid, thick panes of clear ice symmetrically arranged around his head with fern frost at the base.
    Active Pledges

    Motley Pledge

    Only a result of 10 on a die is considered a success. Should a given die result in no successes, the failure is considered to be a dramatic failure, though the oathbreaker may spend a point of willpower to negate this, making it a regular failure.
    -Until Oct 5th.

    1
    PRE

    Stonebones Snowskin

    Gerrit made a point to remember the safe words extra carefully this time. Cassie. Home slice. Then his mind wandered off to nicknames he has been given in his life. Does 'ungrateful little shit' count? Does 'cocksucker'? Truth was, the nicknames he got in his youth were neither appropriate for what they wanted nor was he very keen on being reminded of them.

    Well, no one said he couldn't make one up - Mason hadn't had a childhood to write home about, Gerrit had. "I guess that'll be 'Jamesy' or just calling me by my last name for me then."

    Listening to Cassandra, he remembered the Autumn Equinox - she really played beautifully that day, and he thought it made sense for her to feel free of her anxiousness during those few minutes. "It's good to have an anchor, a safe space one can get back into. Do you have something like that, John?"

    They really took the idea and ran with it, although none of the names meant anything to the Ogre. "Uh, I guess you'll have to make me watch it then. I think it's high time anyway that the three of us get back together more privately, don't you think?"


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  3. #12
    Cassandra Reeding's Avatar

    Cassandra Moore
    Presence
    (Charismatic)
    Striking Looks
    (Radiant)
    Intelligence
    (Keen)
    Kith Blessing
    (Prismatic Heart)
    Status
    (Entertainment)
    Cassandra Reeding

    Eyes like cut, polished emeralds, waist-length scarlet hair, and glowing prismatic skin that seems to react to her emotional state, however what they mean is anyone's guess.

    +1
    SL
    4
    PRE

    Wyrd
    •••
    Polychromatic Artist

    "True. Mutual friend nicknames are special at times. Still, Cassie is a dead name for me. It is easy enough to use last names too. At the very least, these nicknames can give us a bunch of wiggle room."

    Cassandra feels her body go completely cold for a moment after her slip up. Fuck. The way John stares daggars into her makes her wince. Damn it. You're a Winter Courtier, you know better. She doesn't even bother with apologetic eyes; it doesn't change anything. Kind eyes so quick to turn hateful. They aren't hateful. Sure, they are. Stop it. No, you've got to remember who you are.

    She takes another long drag from the cigarette, gazing down at her feet instead. She couldn't meet his eyes again. When was the last time you made a slip up like that? She shakes her head and flicks off the tip of her cigarette. She wished cigarettes calmed her like it seemed to do him, well, put him at a baseline anyway. Her thoughts begin to spiraling out. At first, it is the standard array of feeling useless, but then it just gets dark. Darker than it has a right to be given the situation.

    There is a moment where she just looks gray. It doesn't last long, but that feeling she used to have - that numbness, hits her like a ton of bricks. Her heart beats quickly and she nearly drops her cigarette. Her emerald eyes look scared. She drops it and stamps out the flame before picking it up to throw away. It isn't so much her expression that makes her look flighty, as much as her rapid changes in hue.

    After another moment, she calms down. Running wasn't an option. Taking a deep breath. "Jamesy? Or perhaps 'Ger', a common shortening, but I wouldn't shorten your name generally. Sounds good." She smiles, her voice still a little soft. "Yes, we should get together more privately soon. Either like last time or perhaps we could get together at my place." She suggests.

    She finally looks back at John, an embarrassed blush coming to her cheeks, only somewhat masked by her kith, "What do you think?" Why did that affect her so much. You fucked up. Get over it and do better. Why are you being like this?

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  5. #13
    James Turner's Avatar

    John Campbell
    New Identity
    (John Campbell)
    Rigid Mask
    Trained Observer
    Composure
    (Placid)
    Perfect Stillness
    James Turner

    Mien
    Skin pulled back tight against his frame and a ghostly white, eyes and mouth sucking and empty pits that appear to be without end. His shadow a deep black that seems to be driving the body instead of the other way around.

    2
    PRE

    Whisperwisp

    Her reaction made him feel bad and then it started the shame spiral. Maybe you were too harsh John. Of course, you were too harsh John. You know who you gave that look to? See never saw it though. How many times were you made to feel small and inadequate? That was on me though, she never did anything! This is how I got good at my job. And? And what!? And where has that lead you John? Are you happier for it?That’s when the needle scratched along the record of his mind. Gerrit’s voice coming in as a low murmur as his consciousness returned to reality.

    He frowned and mouthed the word ‘Sorry’ at Cassandra. He had been too harsh but that had been his immediate reaction, like a hand touching fire only to be burned. Turning to Gerrit, aware of his words now he took a drag and breathed. You need to be slower John, think slower, act slower. You’re always so on edge it’s going to push everyone around you away. Since they weren’t immediately being shot at he continued the conversation.

    “Call you Jamie fooking Lannister.” The accent just wasn’t right in his mouth, he was sure Titania would have said it better. When asked if he had a safe space or head space he chuckled a little, his turn to look down at the ground and at his feet. He could lie, he could easily get himself out of this with one simple lie. One lie that they’d never know the difference of. But that’s all it takes to poison something, one little, simple, lie. “No.” He shook his head answering honestly.

    Everyone makes mistakes John, even you. Especially you, your whole life is a mistake. A small frown playing at his lips again as he took another drag. “I think I’ve been too harsh on people.” Referencing not just the situation now but looking back at his reaction in the bar. He needed to find a better way to handle this. “But as far as getting together, sure, we can do a movie night. I can host again unless one of you would rather. It is almost Christmas time, we’ll have to talk plans.”


    Goes by the name: John

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  7. #14
    Gerrit's Avatar
    New Identity
    (Gerrit Jameson)
    Gerrit

    Mien:
    Leathery scars, bruises and scaly scabs cover the whole hairless body. There is a certain symmetry to the disfigurements, the color of the visible skin ranging from pale pink to purple and dark red. Lately patches of dark blue and black - frostbite - have appeared on his skin and some of the scabs have frozen over and crystalized.
    His right hand shows a copper-coloured, wilted and flaky scar, engulfing most of his palm and the inside of his wrist. Next to frostbite and bruised scars it adds a third layer of wounds bore by the Ogre.

    Mantle:
    Contrast seem to grow slightly more stark around Gerrit, the crisp clearness of a winter morning. Sometimes the sound of ice forming or breaking can be heard in a short, brisk snap. When using Contracts a subtle, biting cold can be felt around Gerrit - pins and needles prick both the Onyx and those close to him.

    Crown:
    Solid, thick panes of clear ice symmetrically arranged around his head with fern frost at the base.
    Active Pledges

    Motley Pledge

    Only a result of 10 on a die is considered a success. Should a given die result in no successes, the failure is considered to be a dramatic failure, though the oathbreaker may spend a point of willpower to negate this, making it a regular failure.
    -Until Oct 5th.

    1
    PRE

    Stonebones Snowskin

    He couldn't put his finger on it, but the mood has shifted again, grew colder. It made him realize two things: Cassandra and John were better at not wearing their heart on their sleeve - while something has happened just now, they could almost act like nothing could faze them. He wasn't self-controlled like that.
    This of course was the second realization: the other two shared something deeper than they did with Gerrit. Maybe he was just imagining things, but there seemed to be a second conversation going on with them simultaneously to the spoken word. You're not entitled to match every relationship in intensity. They're your friends. That has been common mantra in his head lately, but he refused to let himself get in the way of their friendship.

    He smiled at John's joke. "Well, tonight proves that you can call me anything but Gerrit and I'll be alarmed." The smile faltered a bit with the Darkling's confession. He couldn't help himself but to pity John a bit. "Well," he said with a warmer voice "it's never too late to find one, and really everyone deserves some time to feel good enough. It may be only a few minutes a day at first" looking at the Artist "but you can train this acceptance of yourself like a muscle. And in time you'll have something to get you out of your darker thoughts." Parroting what he learned in therapy way back. Yeah, he struggled himself but he wouldn't preach what he doesn't practice.

    "Maybe you - we - should start being less harsh on ourselves, how does that sound?" Trying as much to convince himself than he tried to convince them. "As for where: I would really like to see where you live Cassandra, if you were okay with hosting. John ist right, we should talk soon about the holidays."


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  9. #15
    Cassandra Reeding's Avatar

    Cassandra Moore
    Presence
    (Charismatic)
    Striking Looks
    (Radiant)
    Intelligence
    (Keen)
    Kith Blessing
    (Prismatic Heart)
    Status
    (Entertainment)
    Cassandra Reeding

    Eyes like cut, polished emeralds, waist-length scarlet hair, and glowing prismatic skin that seems to react to her emotional state, however what they mean is anyone's guess.

    +1
    SL
    4
    PRE

    Wyrd
    •••
    Polychromatic Artist

    Cassandra blushes slightly. Damn. When did I get so bad at hiding everything? It used to be my specialty - emotional deception. Not doing so good now it seems. She sighs a little bit and gazes back at him, the look in her emerald eyes and the accompanying shrug silently saying 'It's okay.' Now you've made him feel bad. SHUT UP.

    She listens to Gerrit's words, nodding. "Everyone can learn. I'm still learning and unlearning and relearning. It's a never ending process, but... you get better - not all better, but a little each day." I've been careless since I've gotten here. I need to do better.

    "I don't mind hosting. Would give me a chance to actually make some real food," She says with a chuckle, her mood brightening substantially. Was it because she needed to think forward? Probably. Think about the good things to come, not the bad things that have happened. At least, for now. There is a time and place for all of it. "Hm... Any food requests? I'm pretty good with lasagna and garlic bread - it can be a cheese lasagna if either of you is vegetarian. I've only ever watched you two consume pizza, so," she laughs a little. Maybe the idea of hosting was nice. Oh dear god, I'm gonna have to clean.

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  11. #16
    James Turner's Avatar

    John Campbell
    New Identity
    (John Campbell)
    Rigid Mask
    Trained Observer
    Composure
    (Placid)
    Perfect Stillness
    James Turner

    Mien
    Skin pulled back tight against his frame and a ghostly white, eyes and mouth sucking and empty pits that appear to be without end. His shadow a deep black that seems to be driving the body instead of the other way around.

    2
    PRE

    Whisperwisp

    “Sound like a social worker.” He said with a smirk to Gerrit, Gerrit essentially parroting John’s own words to his clients. One day at a time, one step at a time. One moment, just breach outside your shell for a minute, then two, until you can walk on your own. That was the strategy usually, if you had social anxiety say hello to a stranger one day, then two. Train yourself out of that, it was good advice. He knew it was good advice, it just didn’t make it any easier.

    He shook his head anyways and frowned, there was a lot he was uncertain about. Most of it in fact. “Unless we can change the past I’ll never feel safe.” A shrug, shoulders bobbing as he took another drag fingers flitting along the pack again. “I appreciate the concern, I do, but I’m damaged goods man. There’s no fixing what’s wrong with me.” With any of us. Every stranger he met could be a loyalist or privateer, any agreement could be a poisoned. How do you live with that? Spring denies, Autumn studies, Summer fights, Winter hides. It applied to more than just the Others.

    “Fuck, that probably sounds ungrateful, sorry. I just don’t have a good answer so I just focus on what I can.” Tipping the ashes off his cigarette as he looked back to Cassandra. “I’ll eat whatever you put in front of me, but my preference is definitely more traditional lasagna over vegetarian.”


    Goes by the name: John

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  13. #17
    Cassandra Reeding's Avatar

    Cassandra Moore
    Presence
    (Charismatic)
    Striking Looks
    (Radiant)
    Intelligence
    (Keen)
    Kith Blessing
    (Prismatic Heart)
    Status
    (Entertainment)
    Cassandra Reeding

    Eyes like cut, polished emeralds, waist-length scarlet hair, and glowing prismatic skin that seems to react to her emotional state, however what they mean is anyone's guess.

    +1
    SL
    4
    PRE

    Wyrd
    •••
    Polychromatic Artist

    Cassandra laughs a bit, an almost pitiful one, and then sighs, "You know, we're all damaged goods, but it doesn't mean we aren't worthy of finding happiness or comfort where we can, even if it is fleeting. You don't need to be fixed either. You just might wish to grow from what you are now. You aren't broken, John. If you were truly broken, you wouldn't have made it this far." Wild hearts can't be broken. "Besides, I think you're pretty cool as you are. Harsh as you can occasionally be. We all need that friend who makes sure we don't go too far."


    "Let's just be damaged goods together," there is a sweetness to her smile then, "After all, that is what our little group is about, isn't it?" She knew better than to talk to openly about it and she didn't want to see John ever look at her like that again. It wasn't just unsettling, it was dark. It made her feel dark. She did wonder what it would have looked like coming from his mien with those shadowy, difficult to read, black eyes.

    "I'll see what I can do then," She says. There is a hint of excitement to her voice. She hadn't hosted in a very long time. Since before everything happened. It would be nice. "So, it's decided then. I'll host. Oh, be warned, my apartment is a bit of a labyrinth to find. You'll really want to use GPS or print out directions or you will get lost." She may have chosen it strategically for that reason. "So, do we want to head back in or head home at this point?"

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  15. #18
    Gerrit's Avatar
    New Identity
    (Gerrit Jameson)
    Gerrit

    Mien:
    Leathery scars, bruises and scaly scabs cover the whole hairless body. There is a certain symmetry to the disfigurements, the color of the visible skin ranging from pale pink to purple and dark red. Lately patches of dark blue and black - frostbite - have appeared on his skin and some of the scabs have frozen over and crystalized.
    His right hand shows a copper-coloured, wilted and flaky scar, engulfing most of his palm and the inside of his wrist. Next to frostbite and bruised scars it adds a third layer of wounds bore by the Ogre.

    Mantle:
    Contrast seem to grow slightly more stark around Gerrit, the crisp clearness of a winter morning. Sometimes the sound of ice forming or breaking can be heard in a short, brisk snap. When using Contracts a subtle, biting cold can be felt around Gerrit - pins and needles prick both the Onyx and those close to him.

    Crown:
    Solid, thick panes of clear ice symmetrically arranged around his head with fern frost at the base.
    Active Pledges

    Motley Pledge

    Only a result of 10 on a die is considered a success. Should a given die result in no successes, the failure is considered to be a dramatic failure, though the oathbreaker may spend a point of willpower to negate this, making it a regular failure.
    -Until Oct 5th.

    1
    PRE

    Stonebones Snowskin

    Look at them. Broken together, everyone eager to dish out the good advice but way less eager to follow it. Cassandra said it best though - they had each other and as long as they're not having their 'moments' all at the same time they could probably count on the Court to shoulder some of the baggage.

    He smiled at John, a movement that made his face hurt and sting - a constant reminder that the damage they suffered was not always just internal. "No need to apologize. You don't need to fixed, you are the way you are and you'll have to live with that. As Cassandra's said: you've made it this far." Gerrit shrugged. He didn't want to beat a dead horse - they've made their point and whatever got through would maybe stick with John, but there was no point in pressuring on.
    "Lasagna is fine. I don't want to stray too far from Italian food just yet. You know, baby steps." He winked at the Artist, then he spread his arms in a grand and scary goofy gesture. "I forrrr one would be most content with rrejoining the festivities." There was still some more Dracula in him and maybe the others were up to ending the evening on a high note.


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  17. #19
    James Turner's Avatar

    John Campbell
    New Identity
    (John Campbell)
    Rigid Mask
    Trained Observer
    Composure
    (Placid)
    Perfect Stillness
    James Turner

    Mien
    Skin pulled back tight against his frame and a ghostly white, eyes and mouth sucking and empty pits that appear to be without end. His shadow a deep black that seems to be driving the body instead of the other way around.

    2
    PRE

    Whisperwisp

    Fuck am I that pathetic, do I need that much help? Really? Of course not dear, this is just what happens when you rely on others. You don’t need them, you have me. That weight means nothing, it will all disappear if you just turn around and come back. The words scrapping through his mind like an iron bristled brush. The reaction kept down and off his placid face as the smoke drifted up into the night as he rests against the wall.

    Their words meant a lot, he understood they were coming from a good place but it was hard for them to find purchase in his psyche. Too damaged and twisted to accept the positive things they had to say, but they were heard anyway. A tap and ashes fall, another drag taken, eyes drifting off. Still except for the motion of his hand. He thought about what he’d say next. I appreciate the sentiment? No, we all know that’s code for you didn’t listen. A soft exhale of smoke that billowed from his nose.

    “I hear you. I understand but…” He tapped at his temple and shrugged. “I’ll be ok,” for now. “Discussions on finding happiness and comfort might be a little heavy for the evening.” He says while dodging the actual intent of the statement. “Thank you, again.” Even though you’re lying. James, you fucking idiot you can obviously tell they aren’t lying. How do I know that’s not the lie? That’s the way we’re going to be now? Open your fucking eyes fool, use them for what they were meant for.

    He’d gone silent again, thought unfinished before coming back to the conversation. “I’m glad you’re here, I’m glad you care. It means a lot. It does. Let’s get back inside and just forget about the world for an hour or two, yea?” He put his cigarette out against the sidewalk before reaching down to pick up the stamped-out butt to dispose of it on their way back in. “I’m going to have a drink and I’m going to enjoy the music and atmosphere.” He stood a little straighter and took a step back toward the door, pausing for a second only so they could walk back in together.


    Goes by the name: John

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  19. #20
    Cassandra Reeding's Avatar

    Cassandra Moore
    Presence
    (Charismatic)
    Striking Looks
    (Radiant)
    Intelligence
    (Keen)
    Kith Blessing
    (Prismatic Heart)
    Status
    (Entertainment)
    Cassandra Reeding

    Eyes like cut, polished emeralds, waist-length scarlet hair, and glowing prismatic skin that seems to react to her emotional state, however what they mean is anyone's guess.

    +1
    SL
    4
    PRE

    Wyrd
    •••
    Polychromatic Artist

    Cassandra watches him for a long moment and she wonders if she's done too much preaching to the choir. This kind of talk can make people uncomfortable. You can't force it on them. This crap takes time. If you want to help people, practice being patient. Little bits at a time. One day at a time, like he said before. It reminds her of how long it took her to get his story of Arcadia out of him, how long it took her to convince him she wasn't using him. Considering he'd sold off so many of his memories to the goblin market, it was no wonder it took him that long to share. Those excursions were painful and she still isn't convinced she found and traded for them all back. I'm broken Cass, but I still love you. A painful sentiment to think about.

    She sighs, "I'll be here whenever you need me. Either of you. Probably more so than others, I will admit," She chuckles a bit at that. She did rather prefer their company over most, "But yes, let's get back inside and jam," she says with a smile. Honestly, whenever she smiles, it does rather look like she is going to eat someone with the look from her makeup.

    So, with that, she walks up to go inside with John, waiting for Gerrit to join them, assuming he wishes to.

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