Private (Spring and Winter)

[Seraphina]

A slow nod, “It very well could be that.” Though she didn’t sound convinced of it. “I’ve learned that fighting comes in different forms. I find myself using Contracts quite a bit when there’s been a big fight. Bending Fate to aide us while also hindering our enemy. So you don’t have to feel like you need to learn to throw a punch unless you want to. Contracts can very well turn the tides, so you have options. So don’t feel like you have to learn to fight unless you want to. No one is going to force you or think any less of you.” Nope.

“And the people within each Season feel the Season differently. I’ve always loved learning how my fellow Springs feel our Season and what it means to them. If you don’t mind the question, and don’t answer unless you want to, but what was Winter like back home?” was it good? Or bad?

“Oh wow! That must have been so magical!” then a nod, “I get that about the cathedrals. I’m not religious either, but they are stunning. Between the architecture and history, they are just magnificent. I can only imagine how wonderful the music sounded.” The tall ceilings, the long halls. “Oh, I have a bucket list too! There are so many amazing places I want to see in person.” But, it was finding the time. Giggling a bit, cheeks flushing, “Yes, at a beautiful restaurant. A complete shock to me.” That had been something she had never saw coming.

Refilling her coffee and offering to refill Cassandras tea, “If he has anything, I know he’d be more than happy to share it. But thinking about it, it would be good to have history stored somewhere on the story of the Freeholds and the Courts.” Would be helpful to future residents. “I think you and her would have gotten along perfectly! And I hope she returns one day.” But, who knew. “I sometimes wonder if her decision to leave had to do with memories of losing so many when the Four Seasons fell. Like maybe she wanted to reside somewhere without such painful memories.” Shrugging, “Just a guess. She never really talked about what she was feeling in those regards.” Maybe that was a Winter thing. “Though she could throw one hell of a classy Coronation for Winter. Everyone always dressed to the nines.” A fondness in her voice.

Her face lights up, “Great! I can’t wait!” it wasn’t a secret that the Nix loved to shop. “I tried once, and I heard that I wasn’t as bad as I think I am, but it’s just not my thing. I don’t even think I could ballroom dance.” Nope. “I never danced as a child, nor make art. Wasn’t on the approved list of activities for me. Sing, learn to walk, learn how to charm an audience with my voice and words, how to carry myself, but nothing as fun as art and dancing.” But she was at peace with that part of her life now. “Maybe we can practice together then if you like. I’m still honing my skills, and if I know how to do something you don’t, I’m more than happy to share!”

[Cassandra Reeding]

"I've always struggled with feeling like I'm not doing enough on that end. When you work with Reflections and Vainglory, it can feel like you aren't doing much of anything even when you are able to gather so much. But you're right on contracts. They certainly can change the tides."

Cassandra pauses a long moment as she asks about Winter back home, "Cold and divided. Highly political and quiet. One side wanting to help the general populous with their sorrow, the other feeding off of it. Happens when there is contention over rulers." You aided with that contention you know. "I won't let that happen here." There is a degree of resolve in her voice. She doesn't know who the ruler should be, but whoever it is, the backing will be 100%. Division in the Winter Court is never good for any Freehold.

She smiles, laughing with her, "There are lots of places around here I look forward to performing at, but yeah, those cathedrals were something else. I got to watch a service at one what was all Gregorian chant and renaissance polyphony and I was absolutely entranced. The way the sound bounces off of the walls and how it wells up at the top, it is like being both surrounded by and completely within it." So many beautiful pieces. "What places are on your bucket list?" She smiles seeing the way the Nix blushes with that glow of happiness, "That is so romantic. I am very happy for you two. I know I've said it before, but truly. Amongst the Lost, finding love is a true blessing." A sweet memory floods her mind, her heart fluttering a little. Just let the happy memories exist as they are.

She smiles and accepts the refill for her tea, "Thank you." She settles back with her tea, listening and nodding. "That would be a lovely thing for the Freehold if it does not already exist. We will need to discuss those kinds of intel duties we will share as the courts become equal once more. We all want to take up our fair share." She considers for a long moment what that would all look like. She only knew in small bits what each of the courts did before, aside from the most well known portions. Still, the idea of looking at how all of those dots would fit together both excited and intrigued her.

"I hope I'll get to meet her some day. Sometimes staying in the place where all of our trauma unfolded becomes tiring. Sometimes you just need a break from it, experience something new in order to grow beyond it. I more than empathize with it if that is why she chose to leave." After all, I did quite literally the same. "We all process our pain in different ways, not uncommon for a Winter, particularly one who represents the ideals of their season, to keep things bottled up, Court of Sorrow and all. I shall hope whatever comes for the next Winter shall be one to remember. It would certainly be an excuse to try on ballgowns."

"Me too," This was likely some of the most fun giggly, girl chat she's had in a long time. It's almost been surprising how many good experiences she has had since arriving at Sacramento. It makes her wonder when the other shoe will drop. "Time to make up for lost time then, right? Ballroom dancing is atrocious and I only ever learned because of-" she pauses, holding on tightly to her cup for a moment, "well, because of necessity. At the very least, I can keep a steady beat. Of course, so you can you. Any singer who can feel the guide of the music within them can bring it to the body. I'd love to get some practice. Perhaps this coming weekend we could do something." The idea of it makes her brighten a bit.

[Seraphina]

An understanding nod, “I find myself feeling the same way. I’ve trained in the gym for years, but when it comes to fighting against someone like us, I’m not as useful as I thought.” Her eyes stare off for a moment, “I got injured pretty good a couple years ago sparring, and it feels like it’s made others not want to let me fight.” But it had brought her and Rhodes closer, allowed them to admit their feelings to each other. “Vainglory has helped me quite a few times. Especially in the Hedge when some guards found us. But Hearth is a great Contract to have up your sleeve.” She enjoyed it.

“That sounds like it was,” a pause, looking for the right word, “exhausting. For a Court to be divided in such a way is disappointing. In my opinion. I’ve always strived to unite my Court, try to talk out any issues that might arise. A court divided seems like a Court in trouble and open to outside influence.” And outside influence does not belong in a Court. Nodding, “I look forward to seeing what Winter does and who wears the crown.” A smile on her lips.

Eyes widen, “Oh, the Gregorian chant must have been pure magic! I enjoy listening to it as I work on various sketches and designs. It just has this meditative and calming sound to it. And in a way of transporting your mind to things and places not of this world.” It was fun finding another who enjoyed it. “Oh, so many!” she says with a laugh, “I would love to see the Galapagos islands, visit Italy and it’s rich history, the blue waters of Fuji, the culture of Japan and China.” Another laugh, “Just too many to name!” she wanted to travel. “Then there are the stunning libraries I simply must see at least once in my life.” Way too many to count. “It has been, one I never expected to find.” Not after her past.

“I believe it’s been mentioned before, but I don’t remember anything really being done. I wish we had something in place when Sasha was here, her accounts of the Four Seasons fall would have beneficial. I can provide what I know about Fairweather and how we defeated him, which will maybe help us in the future.” Share the tactics and all that. A smile and nod, “Of course. I enjoy it when the Courts can all work together. Each Court has something to bring to the table that another Court doesn’t. So working together benefits the Freehold as a whole.” But it seemed like Cassandra already understood that.

“I hope you get to as well. I see you two getting along really well.” A sad nod, “I only wish that she had shared why she was leaving with me. And that she knew I would have been there for her no matter what. But I understand keeping things bottled up, it’s a way of coping and surviving. Not an easy thing to stop doing. It’s why I always offer to be there if someone needs, but never push.” People would share and seek an ear when they needed it.

“Dancing has never been a necessity for me. But I’ve always loved watching people glide across a dance floor in beautiful flowing gowns. Hey! Maybe I could practice in my Dreams.” She says with a laugh. Anything could be possible in the Dreams. Laughing once again, “You give me too much credit. Music was built into me, but not rhythm.”

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra tilts her head a little as she listens, noting the way Sera's eyes seem to stare off as she talks about having gotten injured. Just injured or was it more than that? "It can get to feeling like you're in a cage sometimes, doesn't it? Not that others don't mean well, wanting you to be safe, but you begin to overcompensate. Or, well, I know I do. It's a weird, comforting and yet incredibly frustrating feeling."

"Exhausting is certainly a word for it. They've more than likely settled by now, but still, the damage was done all the same. It was frustrating." Helps when the opposing side decides to just vanish. "We are a good group of Winters here. Strong minds and wills. I'm looking forward to it too," Though her words are of the three of them, her mind focuses on John. It really should be you.

She smiles listening to Sera gush about chant. It makes her feel awesome that there is someone else who also justgets it. "I never feel calmer than while listening to it. Incredible way to get into a good Zen." She chuckles a little. "Japan has been on my list for a long time. I'm a huge fan of sushi and I've been dying to try the candies you'd only find there. And the gummies! There are all these adorable little kits to make gummy related candies and I swear, I could just watch videos of people making them for hours. Plus, you know, sugar. Ohh, that would be so much fun." The worst sweets addictions. "Oh, libraries. Urgh, that is the one thing I'll say that I miss about Baltimore in particular. The Johns Hopkins University libraries are immaculate works of art. I could sit inside them all day and contentedly just walk around viewing its existence." She smiles fondly at that. So many books. "The best smell in the world. Particularly where all the old sheet music is. Perfectly browned and smooth."

"A blessing like it often is unexpected. So rare for us Lost, but still, love doesn't come without its own hardships. It often shows us who we truly are whether we are ready to face it or not," Barely thirty and yet there is a confidence in her words like she's more than experienced it.

"Perhaps once we establish fully what is there, we can add what you know to the library. Fairweather was the name of the dragon?" She asks curiously. She knew of Giants in the Hedge, so Dragons really couldn't be that far off right? Terrifying.

"Keeping things bottled up also keeps people from having things to use against you, even inadvertently. Of course, if you burst completely, in the wrong environment, and to the wrong people, it isn't much different than if you had just shared, is it? Might have even mitigated some of it. It's hard to find that balance between care and paranoia, particularly when the nature of people can be so unpredictable." She'd been on both ends of that one.

"I have missed a note or two being drawn in by the ballet on more than one occasion. The way that some people can just move is incredible. Those dancers are musicians in a sense. Melody and rhythm are inseparable in the long run, otherwise our song would not be possible. Kinesthetic awareness may not be your forte, but you always have rhythm. After all, you do have a heart beat, don't you?" Cassandra asks, a sweet smile, "Your heart beat is constant, just like the steady beat of a song. As long as you live, rhythm beats within you. Still, it can be difficult to find it in your feet if you don't give it a whirl. Though, perhaps that is the effect of my professors coming out in me. Philosophies of music and teaching and all. What connects us as humans and why is it music? Very often the course of discussion in university." She chuckles a bit.

[Seraphina]

“It does! And you’re the first person to realize that.” She never wanted to be in a cage again. “It’s funny, in a weird way, to hear someone understand. I never want to feel like I need to depend on others to protect me, that I can hold my own. To be useful and not a burden.” It was comforting, in a way, to hear that the Winter understood.

“I hope so. Division isn’t good for a Freehold. It shifts the focus from protecting each other and what we’ve built, onto attacking and tearing each other down.” A small shake of her head, “But, we can be our own worst enemies at times. And I agree, you are a good group of Winters. John and I have bumped heads before, but he’s a good guy, willing to help the Freehold. And you seem to have a level head on your shoulders, so I see good things for not only the Freehold, but your Court as well.” A soft smile. Sasha would enjoy Cassandra; she was sure of that.

“I find it helps me focus when other means have failed. I like to think I’ve sketched out a lot of good designs listening to it.” A chuckle. She thought they were good. “Have you tried looking online for them? I know there are many sites where you can order candies and other goodies directly from the country. It’s a bit pricey, but a good way to try new things. I can take a look later and let you know, I have a few I use and I’d bet they have gummies of some fashion.” Candy from other countries just tasted different, in a good way. It was weird. “I want to redo my current library; I’m running out of room for the books I keep buying. But it might not be possible due to the structure of the house. So I might just have to convert a room attached into an extension until I can figure something else out. So many books, and never enough room!” she really just needed a bigger house.

A nod, “Its forced me to face parts of myself and my past I never wanted to. And that has been a challenge in itself. But thankfully, Rhodes has been supportive every step of the way, allowing me to feel safe and comfortable sharing. It’s been,” a pause, “an experience.” But she kept pushing herself, wanting to be more open. Wanting him to know.

“Fairweather was the Dragon that almost wiped out the Freehold. He leveled the Four Seasons, a hotel the Freehold had. Quite a few lost their lives when it happened. Sasha survived, but saw a lot of her friends perish. When I arrived, Funderland wasn’t established yet, and they were planning how to end Fairweather. It’s a difficult part of the history of our Freehold, but one I think should always be remembered.” Their knowledge passed on to future members of the Freehold.

“True enough. A happy medium needs to be found. Sharing enough to make people feel connected to you, but not enough to be used against you. A delicate balancing act of sorts. Some master it, and some will always struggle.” Which was Cassandra?

An eyebrow raised in amusement, “I’m very tempted to show you sometime my two left feet.” Humor in her voice as she spoke, “I can find the rhythm in just about anything, feel it in my body. But hearing it and being able to move ones body with it are two different things. My purpose has always been the pretty one on the pedestal, not being able to move until I was needed to sing. It’s built into me.”

[Cassandra Reeding]

"It's good to know I'm not alone in that sense," She smiles a little. It was weird to hear it all said out loud, wasn't it? "The feeling is a toxic one. Even when you are doing everything you possibly can, you never quite feel that it is enough. We all need to remember to take a step back once in a while and see how we fit in the cogs of our society. We can't be spreading ourselves too thin." One day, we are going to be able to call ourselves useful, right? Beyond a simple fluke? She hoped so.

"He means well. The ideals of our season don't always put us in the best position for making friends, but John has a good heart." She smiles at the compliment, "Thank you. I certainly try to. I don't always succeed though," She chuckles a little. Though I certainly don't feel like my head has been straight in months.

"I have, but there is something special about getting them while you are in their place of origin, you know? It gives me another thing as a reason to say that I should take the trip instead of just ordering it. But, then again, life can be short. Might as well enjoy it where we can." Her eyes rather brighten at the mention of her library, "Wow. That must be an amazing room though. I had to scale down my collection quite a bit when I moved," I just couldn't bear to give them away... "What kind of books do you read?" She asks curiously.

"Good. That is how you get stronger. We can only do so much alone, but with a partner whom we trust, we can do just about anything. It's a strange concept, the idea of sharing burdens to lighten one's load, but it is true. Sharing alleviates some of the pain, giving us someone to hold onto, and in turn, brings us closer to lessening the burden's power over our heart." There is something in her voice as she says that, perhaps a hint of her own sorrow carrying through, but it is slight.

She nods as she listens, finally moving back to drinking the tea that had been untouched for several minutes. It was a little more chilled than she liked, but still lovely. "Four Seasons. That's clever. The full history of one's Freehold is something that should be known to all of its members. It both protects and unites us."

"I think you shall have to at some point as I am not convinced," She says with equal humor, "They wanted us to be a lot of things, didn't they? But while they can change our appearance or rebuild and mold us in their special environment, they cannot change the most integral part of us - the part that makes us human. It might take you longer than others to learn, but talent and ability are not synonymous. Plus, you'll want to twirl around in that gorgeous gown I bet you'll be wearing for your wedding. After seeing that gown from the coronation, I can only begin to imagine your wedding gown. It'll be glorious, I bet."

[Seraphina]

A nod of understanding, “It certainly can be toxic. It’s why I continue to train and improve, if I didn’t, I think the feeling would eat me alive.” She spent too much of her life being useless. Chuckling, “You sound like Rhodes, worrying I’m spreading myself too thin. But Sonnie and even Circe, have helped me take a step back. Reassuring me that I am useful and that I have talents that help the Freehold. Sometimes the words help, sometimes, they fall on deaf ears.” But, so went life.

“He does. And I’ve enjoyed getting to talk with him outside of Freehold business, it’s allowed me to see different sides of him. I think that’s important, seeing everyone outside the Freehold, seeing them relaxed, to some extent, and just being them.” It can show them in a new light, not one shaded by misconceptions. “If you succeeded all the time, you wouldn’t be learning and improving as you went. Just remember that each bump along the way is a chance to reevaluate and build upon something.” She had to learn many times.

“Ah. Yeah.” A nod, “That is true. But it could be a good way to tide you over until you are able to go. Plus, it’ll be a good way to get others interested too!” cause…candy! “It’s a bit, ok, a lot, crowded right now.” Laughing, “Mostly history and medical books, though I prefer true medical novels. The ones about medical events that have happened. Recently I’ve added some books about architecture throughout history and how it’s evolved and how it’s stayed the same.” There were fashion books, but those weren’t as interesting. “And you?” she mentioned books too.

Listening, she wondered if Cassandra had experience with love and sharing? But she didn’t want to pry, the friendship was too new to ask such things. “That’s true. But overcoming the fear of judgement and rejection over the past can be hard to overcome. Small steps needing to be taken each time.” Testing the waters so to speak.

Smiling, “It was! And I wish I could have seen it. So maybe once the Winter Coronations happens, the Seasons can get together and work on starting such a thing. Placing the history into a book to pass on to future members.” That would be good to have.

Laughing, “You got it. But I warn you, it’s pretty bad.” Yup.

A strand of hair was absently tucked behind her ear, “Oh, I don’t have any ideas yet. Sketches yes. But nothing concrete because we haven’t had much time to really discuss what we want to do. I might try spinning one, but, not one hundred percent on that yet. Might just buy one so I can focus on other things you know?”

[Cassandra Reeding]

"I more than empathize with that. Words can only do so much if you don't entirely believe them. It is good you have so many people to help give you perspective."

Cassandra smiles, nodding, "Seeing people out in their natural habitats does do a bit of good. Though, the impressions you get from both the Freehold gatherings and the private gatherings are important in their own way." Though, perhaps that is the perspective coming from the information gatherer in her. "Each failure can be just as insightful if not more than each success. That is certainly true. Perhaps the times when we aren't entirely grounded can be the times when we find the most clarity, as odd as that might sound." Her mind drifts to the other night. Practically a blizzard and... exhilarating somehow.

"That is very true! Like the time I found those matcha kit kats. Ooo, matcha kit kats. I've gotta find those again, because, oh my God, they were delicious." She giggles a little. Her eyes brighten a bit as Sera talks about her library, "Oh, that sounds amazing. I mostly read science fiction, like Asimov, Frank Herbert, Phillip K. Dick. I love a good murder mystery, of course. I've also got quite a bit of fantasy and thriller/horror and suspense novels as well." Though, I haven't read through those ones. "I love science fiction as a medium for exploration of humanity and what makes us human. It's so interesting to me."

She takes another sip of her tea. "That is true. Though, every once in a while, you get to that point where you just gotta get everything out at once. I think, for me, the hardest part is not getting to the giant info dump, but rather the aftermath. The 'oh, dear God, I just unleashed all of that all over you. Crap.'" She laughs a little at that.

"That would be an excellent idea. I'd love to help work on putting it together, even if it is just in the helping to hunt down the information."

"Oh, certainly. And depending on the kind of wedding you end up wanting, there is so much planning that goes into it too. Not having to worry about spinning a dress would likely take quite a bit of weight off your shoulders." she considers the kind of work that would go into it and shakes her head, "It's enough work on its own just agreeing on food and cake flavors." Though, I think you just argued to argue then for the sake of nerves. "The hilarious part is, you'll spend all that time figuring out food and then you'll barely have the time to eat it at the reception."

[Seraphina]

“Oh they certainly are! I didn’t mean to diminish the importance of that. But I like how people are able to lower their walls a bit in a more relaxed setting. Not everyone mind you.” A chuckle, “But some.” Always just enough. “It doesn’t sound odd to me at all. It sounds spot on.”

Looking a bit confused, “Matcha kit kats? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of those. Though hearing you talk about them, I might have to get some!” she loved trying new candy! “I never thought of science fiction that way, a medium for exploration of humanity. Any books you would recommend for someone who has never read those type of books before, but is no curious?” never too old to read new books.

“Not sure if I’m at that point yet. A few things have been discussed and shown, the joy of Dreams. And I found myself with that fear in the aftermath. Finding myself withdrawing a bit, waiting for the rejection to come.” Then a shrug, “But it hasn’t come. So I’m considering moving it forward, sharing more. But it’s weird, you know, when that rejection or judgement doesn’t come. Maybe it’s years upon years of hiding it.” She wasn’t sure.

“I think everyone can contribute to it, and should. Sometimes it helps to have multiple views and thoughts. And having someone who knows how to gather information would be great! I know of the more, mundane ways. But I’d love to learn other ways if you would be willing to share. Though don’t feel like you have to.” It wasn’t a huge thing.

“Planning I can do. I live for planning parties and gatherings. But I know I’m going to have to accept help.” A chuckle. “Though now I’m curious as to if Rhodes and I can agree on those things. We’re usually on the same page with everything, and if not, coming to a solution to make each happy isn’t hard.” She looks to Cassandra, studying her almost, “You planned a wedding before or been to a lot?” she sounded knowledgeable. “Though not being able to eat at the reception is not acceptable!” laughing.

[Cassandra Reeding]

"Oh, I didn't feel as though you were diminishing it. I was simply adding to the thought. It is nice though. I'm used to there being so much going on that there really isn't room so much to do that whole letting down your guard. I suppose really I just happened to have come at just the right time for that." Not that there isn't danger lurking about here as well. "My previous Freehold had a real knack for getting itself into ridiculous predicaments. The only time I felt like I could breathe was during our little bar get togethers and even then, I really feel like I only spent time hanging with Spring and the few Summers who happened to show up." You'd think the Autumn Courtiers were even more mysterious than the Winters.

"Oh, yes! They are so yummy. I'll have to stop by some of the multi-cultural food stores to check for them. There was this shop down in Richmond that I'd made the hike to once in a while to grab them. A little fusion Asian food market. God, and their selection of teas was phenomenal. I stocked up as much as I could before I left." I'm starting to run low on lavender, now that I think about it. I'll have to stock up somewhere. "Hmm, well, my personal favorite has to be The Caves of Steel by Asimov. Detective working to solve a murder with an Android that doesn't make sense given the Laws of Robotics. Though, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Phillip K. Dick would probably be a better one to start with. It's not too heavy of a read and is an excellent discussion piece for what constitutes sentience. What makes someone truly alive? I also like to look at it as a discussion of 'the other' effect. The way humans tend to shun the things they do not understand." She could go on for hours on those topics.

"Most of the ways that I go about gathering information is also mundane, but Reflections is incredibly useful for gathering intel. Though, much of it is for spying. The first portion of it allows you to look into the past that has been reflected in a surface. The next allows you to actively see the area your face has once been reflected in. Very useful for keeping an eye on things when needed. I'd like to be taught about divining more from Omens though," Then, of course, there is Fleeting Winter. Useful for putting people at ease around you. Easier to get information. Then again, putting on a smile and being willing to listen always worked better than any contract.

Cassandra pauses a long moment, her emerald eyes a little wary. Do I want to share that? I guess I walked into it, didn't I? Well, it isn't like the information has ever really been a secret, at least, not back there. "I'm a widow." That was true enough, given the situation. "It's why you'll occasionally hear my name go back and forth between Moore and Reeding. My legal and married name is still Moore. Though I still accidentally go back and forth on what to call myself. We invited few people. We'd always been on the more private side with our relationship, but my best friend wouldn't settle for us 'not doing it properly'. It was beautiful, but exhausting."