Cassandra turns the key to unlock the door to her apartment and makes her way inside. Half opened boxes are still scattered everywhere, but the unpacking process is slowly coming along. She steps into her living room, setting her cello case to the side and her laptop and books on her coffee table. She sighs as she makes her way into her kitchen, putting on a cup of tea. Just like she always had.

She scoops up a mixture of lavender and chamomile to put together in a little tea bag for once her water is heated. As she waits for the kettle’s contents to come to a boil, she leans against her kitchen counter and runs her fingers through her now nearly hip-lengthed, scarlet hair. The air is different here. Heavier. I wonder if it is the altitude or if it is in my head? She looks down and to the side, her emerald eyes considering, I’m finally away from all of it. Well… most of it. You know you’ll never be more than a doorways distance from Arcadia no matter where you go.

She sighs and looks across again toward the living room. City apartments really are stupidly similar. The setup looks almost exactly like her first apartment when she moved out of Triss’. Her gaze turns to the sofa and memories begin just flooding through her mind. She can almost hear Blodwen’s voice as if she were standing right next to her.

Blodwen holds the bottle of mead in her lap as she watches her sister. Her brows furrow and as her hand comes to her chest she lets out a snort, "Girl you are lying to yourself to say you don't love him."
Cassandra blushes a little, "I… I mean…" she pauses and looks down then. Her skin shimmers specks of blues and greens then. "Oh, Blodwen, what have I done?" She brings her hands to her face as tears begin to well in her eyes, "I've made a huge mistake." Her voice cracks a little.
"Because you love someone? Girl what the hell one second you're completely swooned and in love and saying you want to confess and the next you're trying say you're not in love with him?" The albino Runnerswift sets aside her bottle as she turns to look at her more. "Cass what is going on really?"

She sighs shakily, trying to cool herself down and then shakes her head a little, "It has nothing to do with that. I'm just…" she breathes out slowly, "I'm just kind of terrified and I can't figure out what I'm supposed to feel. I'm happy and giddy and then that voice in the back of my mind yells at me to snap out of it. The last time I had feelings like this…" she looks up at Blodwen, her eyes a little puffy, "I know he isn't… but I just keep telling myself I can like him, want him, be giddy and childishly infatuated, but not be in love with him.

"Crap. I look and sound like a ridiculous jumble of anxiety. Just… Actually loving someone gives them power over you and that voice in the back of my mind never stops reminding me of that. I never wanted someone to have that power over me again." She groans then, "Fuck, I sound like such a drama queen."

"No. You sound real," Blodwen reaches for a hand. "What happened was scary and recent events didn't help things."

"I don't feel the regrets of it anymore, but rationally… I don't know. You know, growing up, I never had crushes. I had friends, sort of, but I was never interested in intimacy. The word wasn't really buzzing around much back then, but I'd likely have thought myself to be asexual. At least, until him." She holds onto Blodwen's hand, giving it a squeeze, reminding herself that she is safe in her home, "I didn't expect any of this."
She pauses and then shakes her head, "Okay, I've spilled way too much of my guts. Your turn."

The high pitched whine of the kettle interrupts the memory and she sighs as she takes it off of the stove. She gets out her thermometer from the drawer next to the stove and sets it inside, waiting till it is just a little bit cooler before pouring the water into the cup she had set out. She begins steeping her tea bag and closes her eyes as the sweet lavender and chamomile aroma begins filling the room.

“...I also like the sound of your voice calling me your love. I never thought I’d hear that from you, and I never thought I would have said it to you. But I do love you, though I’m still not exactly sure I know what love is; I care about you and I want you more than anything, so as crazy as it seems to say it, I think it’s accurate, and it seems better to say it than hide it. I just can’t believe how lucky I am to have found you,” His voice, deep and soothing. Words she truly thought were genuine. Maybe they were at the time. Blodwen had been wrong... maybe if she hadn't encouraged it things would have been- no. No, things turned out exactly how they were supposed to.

The Polychromatic shakes her head, trying to bring herself back to reality, and gazes down at her tea as she finishes steeping it. You exist here now... soon you'll need to leave that past behind. The longer you think of him and of them, the longer it can still sway you. You've got to be stronger than that. She takes out the bag, adding a little bit of honey, and then moves into her living room to sit on the sofa. Maybe she shouldn’t have kept the sofa. So many residual memories… Perhaps it was a bad idea to bring it along. Things weren’t ever going to be the same. Still, she closes her eyes as she sits back, trying to relax and take in the scent of her new home.