Phoenyx slams her fists into the bag, harder and harder. The first day of Kaze 's incarceration and they had already started fighting. She should hve been resting, trying to be ready for her shift, but she couldn;t. Her body was still coursing with emotion and adrenaline. The encounter still left a bitter taste in her mouth, her anger lending more and more erratic and forceful nature to her attacks.

Had she really been hurting him, all this time? She thought she was being affectionate. Like a thing they only did. And every time he though....

Another fist struck the bag. Even her experienced and hardened skin was beginning to crack and turn raw.

Didn't he know that I loved him? Did I love him? Or just the person he was showing me all that time?

Another flurry of punches, and there was a final tired jab forward.

The Obrimos roared with frustration and pain, throwing herself on the bag. Her body convulsed in a way she hated, but there was no way of stopping it. Her hand reached to her cheek, and came away wet.

Sinking to her knees, Phoenyx wept.

I opened myself to him. And I got hurt. Now I'm losing my focus, and... and...

Losing my friend.


* * * * * * * * *


How long she stayed there, curled on the floor, she wasn't sure. No-one came in - Skye was doing her job, Aurora was gone...

Tears dripped onto the floor. Thoughts rushed through her head.

I never regretted our time together. Does he even realise that? I would make the same choices again. I would do the same again with what I knew at the time. Sure, it was a little embarassing to be connected that way when he broke the Veil. But he wasn't serious. He was fun. I needed fun. But he can be so.... careless. And when we stopped...

I lost my fun.

Hindsight meant if you knew then what you knew now, you may act differently - the key was she hadn't. She hadn't known.

In her mind, a small elderly asian man was speaking. "Never apologise when you have chosen an honourable path, for you will make the same choice, time after time. But if you would change something, then you have made an error. Learn the lesson. There is no shame in failure, unless you have deliberately chosen to stray from the honourable path, where word or deed no longer reflect true intent."

The honourable path....

There was another shudder. Another convulse. Another tear, that she wasn't able to force into submisison.

Slowly, Phoenyx pulled herself off the floor, and sat up.

She had never meant to hurt him. She thought she was trying to make things stick in his mind.... but [strike]he had taken the wrong lesson[/strike] instead of forging him, she was breaking him, bit by bit. She had made... a wrong choice. It had worked for her, but not for him.

For the first time, she realised why Kaze needed to leave the Adamantine Arrow in the first place.

Needed. Not wanted.

She had to plan her words. She had to go back that night, and be there with him.

Phoenyx didn't want to lose her friend. And is was possible, maybe, perhaps, that she had made a mistake. Her way had been the only way she knew to handle things. And it hadn't worked, and she had tried nothing else.

If he had just told me... was he scared of me?The idea was... well, not that hard to believe. She'd been told she cut a blunt figure.

To make this work, she was going to have to.... apologise.

She honestly couldn't remmeber the last time she had. It was definately to her mentor, she knew that.

This is going to suck.

Urgh.