Spring Things

[Kaze]

Kaze looks a little embarassed and snaps out of it to focus on Aurora. "Oh. Sorry. Water? If you have it?" He asks.

Following Aurora inside, he says, softly, "It's just...a lot has changed since the last time we really talked, and...being here is weird with me not being an Arrow anymore and...not being together with Phoenyx anymore."

[Pixel]

"Civil rights eh?" Pixel is visibly impressed by one of those categories. He shakes his head to the other and her question. "I'm good."

She didn't flinch at the list, and that was good. She could just shrug it off and say someone else's problem, but she's asking questions and looking for things to do. This is the Warlock Pixel liked to see. That he wanted to be and lead. One more focused on growth and opportunity then taking their Awakening as a calling to bicker about how the sky is more cyan then blue. None of the Sacramento Warlocks were like that so far, but there was always this gnawing fear that one day that Warlock would be the one eating his pizza. Or that he might be the one and not realize it.

"We'll have plenty to do. If you have ideas I'm all ears, but I'd definitely recommend watching and getting to know people for now."

He bites and chews for a sec before he answers her next question.

"No idea. I know the council was reconvened just before I arrived. Papilio was a traveler so I guess he got a call to go somewhere else. He did warn me ahead of time he may need to leave at some point so I don't really hold it against him."

[Naga]

"Yes, though I admit that's a newer field for me." She picked a slice of pepperoni off of her pizza slice and popped it into her waiting mouth. After chewing and swallowing it, she continued. "I want the law to be a tool that people can use to better their lives and come closer to Awakening. My own little way of fighting the Lie."

Naga smiled and nodded, "Don't worry. I'm the patient sort. You don't go into court unprepared."

"I see," she said, musing upon the information, "Well, Path Counsilors are the most ancient tradition. I'm glad to see it's being kept up. In any case, you're not the only Warlock here, anymore. I'll be happy to help you, Counsilor Pixel, once I get the lay of the land, so to speak."

[Aurora]

Huh. What was with him, she thinks, “Sure.” And reaches into the fridge and pulls out another bottled water, handing it to him.

Oh! Of course.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. Would you be more comfortable talking somewhere else in the Circle?” that’s what happens when she gets lost in her own little world. Things get forgotten.

“Whoa, wait a sec, not an Arrow anymore? And not with Phoenyx anymore?” blue eyes wide. She knew about it, but didn’t want to share that Phoenyx had talked with her. Not her place. “Are you ok? I mean, that’s a lot of life changes. And if this area brings back too many memories or something, we can talk somewhere else.” No big deal to her.

[Kaze]

Kaze looks around again. "Huh?" He says, "Oh. Sorry. No, it's fine, for me. I mean, honestly, I am just trying to give Phoenyx some space, and...I don't want to crowd her by being here when she is, you know?"

Kaze sighs. "It's kind of harsh, really, of me I mean. Phoenyx is great. She didn't, you know, do anything. I just...changed. I mean, for me it doesn't feel like I changed so much as found my way again, got back on the path I was on before. It's a good thing...for me, but that path was way before we got together, and there was a lot that I am recommitted to that...doesn't work for our relationship. So, from her perspective, I basically did a 'bait and switch' on her. She's not wrong. It's my fault. I held off talking to her about what I really wanted and really believed, and let things get...physical when I should have said something...because I didn't see how it could work between us, and kept hoping, if I waited, it would work out somehow. When I finally did tell her how I really felt, what I really needed...well, that's how it went. The things I value, my priorities...goals in life...just aren't what she signed up for. I know she feels like I broke up with her, and that's totally fair, even though I feel like she broke up with me. Feelings, right?" He manages a rueful smile.

He sighs again and says, "Anyway, I didn't mean to dump all that on you. I mean, I probably should talk about it with someone other than, well the people I have been talking to about it. Mostly I haven't."

Kaze manages a smile. "What I really wanted to talk about, is something we kind of talked about before, that I really want to go as far with Life as I can. I...really want to get the perspective of being in...other shapes."

[Aurora]

A nod of her head, “Understandable. And I’m not sure where she is. I’m not, like, on the Arrow side, just the bunks.” So if Phoenyx was there, she didn’t know. She never went on that side unless invited, respecting boundies, it was a thing.

As Kaze starts talking, the Shaman wonders if she has a trusting face or something. Seemed others felt comfortable enough around to unload what was going on in their lives. Maybe a good thing?

And this was why she had avoided relationships for so long. They got messy and someone always got hurt.

“Honestly, probably would have been a good idea to more open and honest at the start.” A shrug, “Maybe it was a mutual breakup. Both of you realizing you each wanted something different.”

Then a small chuckle, “Yeah, feelings. Messy things that complicate life.”

“It’s fine. It seems to still be bothering you, so always good to talk about those things.” Or so she’s heard or read somewhere. “It’s just not a subject I have much experience with, so I might not have the best advice.” Fair warning.

Ah. That topic again.

“You mean what it’s like, from my point of view?” she asks, “Because I’ve only done that once.” Truth.

[Kaze]

Kaze nods. "Yeah. It is. Totally. My fault." He agrees. "I've told her that too, but I kind of needed to stop saying it, because I got the feeling it was like a tease, like I was going to change my mind or something." Kaze sighs. "All I want right now is to do as little more harm as possible, you know? Not hurt her anymore. I mean, there's the whole 'grieving process', and I get that she's hurting over losing what we had, and wanting it back. And...that's not going to happen, and it is totally my fault. So, I've been trying to just keep out of the way." He explains.

Kaze smiles, "Sorry. I am doing that thing where I don't even really want advice or even consciously mean to be talking about it at all." He apologizes. "I appreciate your listening, though. Thank you."

Kaze laughs out loud. Then looks apologetic. "I'm sorry, but 'I only did it once' just sounds so funny to me when it's something like that!" He grins, "Like, 'I only walked on the moon that one time'."

He looks more serious. "When we talked before, I was asking about how to deal with having the ability to do good, heal, and not do it to protect the veil. I really liked what you said, and since then I tried to live up to it. I know, I am still really bad in the area, but not by actually doing things, just so far by still having to learn to keep my big mouth shut from talking about it."

Kaze shakes his head. "I keep getting off what I want to talk about by talking about my self inflicted problems instead, please never mind that. What I wanted to say, to ask, was about learning from you. For one thing, I mean please just tell me 'no that's stupid' if it is, but...would you be willing to...turn me into a bird? For the perspective?"

[Aurora]

Leaning against the counter and drinking the water, she listens. Debating what to say. “You kinda do. The more you repeat it to her, less the sincere it will sound. So space is good, I just hope you guys are able to become friends again.” Cause talk about being awkward working together!

A shrug, “It’s ok. If it helps, I’m here.” And a sounding board for people who don’t want advise or to talk about it. But keeping do it. Weirdos.

Grinning, “Well, it’s true. When we were in that Sanctum dealing with the Golems, me being in the air was safer. Cause I’m not a fighter. So as a bird, I could remain safe, but still heal and help.” Another drink.

“It’s a weird place to be in, you know? Having the ability to heal like I can, but not being able to use it. Why is it a struggle to keep your mouth shut about it? Do you think you should be able to use it to heal Sleepers?” does he not see or understand the issue there?

A hand waves, “Really, nothing to apologize for.” So stop doing it.

Then a blink. Another.

“Wait,” back up, “you want me to turn you into a bird?” seriously? “I mean, I can, to the level where you wouldn’t get lost in the form. But it’s vulgar as fuck. And just tossing around vulgar for you to experience being a bird is just, asking for trouble. Why is it so important to you?”

[Kaze]

Kaze listens to Aurora's peceptive shared insight in what Phoenyx could be getting from his words and actions. He nods soberly.

He smiles as she seems to give permission for him to talk about his feelings or missteps as the case may be. "Thanks." He acknowledges gratefully.

Kaze pauses and really thinks about the question. "You know...I think I'm too...I don't know, trusting maybe. I mean, it's not just that I talk a lot; it's that I let my guard down in general. I talk about the things that matter to me, too easily. I just...get too comfortable without thinking. My biggest problem is that when I relax, instead of talking about just personal stuff like how I feel about Phoenyx a girl or school or a job or something, I...talk about things that risk everyone. I've been trying to approach it like there's this one area I have to remember to be careful about, but it feels like I need a personality transplant."

He sighs. "Okay, that came out all whiny. Sorry. It's my responsibility, and I will get it fixed; it's just been harder than I thought."

Kaze's eyes shine when Aurora asks why in the world he would want to have a vulgar spell cast on him, "Okay, honestly? I don't just want you to turn me into a bird, I want to learn to turn myself into one, and spend some serious time that way. It's...not a logical thing. It's...been a dream of mine since I was a kid. I mean, a literal dream, like I go to sleep, and I'm flying as a bird. I...can't really explain it. I guess that's why I'd like to experience it first; I don't know if it would really be like my dreams, but it's been a thing for me as long as I can remember." He says.

[Pixel]

"So what do you think of the people in the system? The cops and judges and clerks and stuff? Do they think the law should better people?"

Pixel had his opinions, but they stemmed from his own experience on one side of the issue. An awakened view from the other side might well be healthy for him, and it's not looking like she would judge him for sharing.

"Awesome."

It was his only response to her other thoughts as they seemed on the same page.