Lessons in the Barrens

[Dirt Nap]

"It's all about layers." Dirt Nap is saying. The two are seated, across from a small fire in a concrete run off drainage ditch on the outskirts of the city where no one cares or watches or hears.

"You never depend on one thing, and you shouldn't ever only have one reason for what you're going after, neither."

"Like the fire. Distracting, isn't it? Uncomfortable, I hope. It sure is for me. Why try to teach or learn across it? One, camouflage. It makes us look like just some hobos, from a distance. Nobody our kind would care about would have it. Two, focus. It forces us to really learn, makes it harder and stressful, which is what it's certain to be when we want to use what we learn, I bet. And three, conditioning. It is one more way to prepare for the Change we are both aiming for, where we will go into something like Torpor and have our shell so focused and our Beast so penned in that it will Change in the way we planned, and nothing else, and we will wake up with that change permanently in us." Dirt Nap says it all very softly, not whispering, no sibilants, but much too quietly for human ears even if they were sitting with them by the small fire.

Dirt Nap forces himself to stare at the fire for a full minute in silence, unmoving though his expression is one of effort and discomfort.

"Now, you want to keep the Beast from eating you up and taking control. The Coil of the Beast is solid. If you have the will, you will be able to stop Frenzy before it even starts. This isn't a trick you learn and have to remember. It is a change to your physical self, like cutting off an arm. It can't be undone. But you shouldn't consider yourself safe even after. That is why Animalism comes in. You will have to learn the language of the beasts, little 'b' and sure, you can force them without talking to them, but it works better if you can understand them. Eventually, you will be able to work directly with the Beast, capital B, not just yours. But that isn't like forcing a rat to come up and let you suck some blood out of it. No, that's like climbing into the lion's den with no chair or whip to face it down. Your own is tricky enough, but someone else's can hurt you worse. So you get used to it, working with little beast minds and their hungers and fears all the while training and conditioning your Beast's mind to put up with things it doesn't like because you have the will to make it."

Dirt Nap chuckles, "But incidentally, I am working on shapeshift, and it will be handy for me as your teacher if I can talk to you while I am an animal. So there's that too. And my learning the Mask isn't just some Court thing, but when I am an animal my Beast won't be shouting to everyone that I am a big 'B' beast, not a little one. There's always layers, and you need to think of that and look for it and use it to be in the Order." he says.

"Like Patience. I don't want an update yet, not until you think you're done, but you should know about her Faith, not just take her word for it, not assume she's telling you what she really believes neither. One thing, she believes our Condition is meant to punish the kine, the evildoers. If you agree to be part of that, you can spend time taming your Beast being around her while she Hunts, and Feeds, with you right alongside her. That would be some real life conditions that would teach you a thing or two about performing and fighting your Beast. I'm just saying.That would mean gaining her trust all while being highly uncomfortable and fighting your Beast just not to run away, much harder than Court."

"Of course someday she'll be disappointed, maybe feel betrayed. You'll need to take that into account too. Showing interest and being able to reasonably say you decided not to join up after all. Unless you do. That would be harder by far, but it's up to you."

Dirt Nap sighs. "Alright, focus. Find an animal. They're out there, just past the light of the fire. Find one and let your mind feel it's hunger, curiosity, fear. Try to tell it you see it, and will not harm it. It will help if you can believe it's true before you try to say it."

[Derek Menzies]

Heightened Senses active to hear what Dirt Nap is saying

He gets what Dirt Nap is saying. At least the first part. Efficiency in all things. If one is to suffer than get the most out of it. The fire is distracting. The pops and crackles are thunderous with his enhanced hearing. It's terrifying. Derek's Beast squirms and complains within him, causing Derek to inch away bit by bit with periodic shuffling of his hips.

"Layers..." repeats Derek, trying to focus on the lesson and the deeper meaning of the words. "So there's some crossover between the big Beast and the little beasts..." he says, simplifying the message for himself in a low whisper. "To understand the Beast begins by speaking it's language?" he ventures, the question more rhetorical than searching.

"Right, um, focus," he repeats again and shuts his eyes, turning his attention outward, trying to ignore the combustion of the flame between them. His enhanced hearing gives him all manner of sounds. Gentle wind and distant urban murmurs of the city that are beyond even his ability to make sense of. And soft little scratches. Little brushes of fur and claw against the dirt. Against stone and wood. Movement and little tiny heartbeats.

"Okay...uh, yeah...I hear one," he says as he slowly gets up into a crouch and turns towards the sound, opening his eyes to perceive it. He begins to move towards it.

"Mm, err, I, uh...see you," he says to the distant rat that scurries through the drainage ditch.

[Dirt Nap]

"Good. Now, don't move towards it. Just let yourself feel it. Like riding the Beast, you're not trying to control it. Is it hungry? Is it afraid? Curious? Maybe territorial, bristling at us or the fire, not liking us being here but not able to do anything about it." Dirt Nap says. "When you have a feel for it, try to reach it with your mind and whatever comes naturally. Maybe you make a noise but maybe you just use body language. Maybe you stare right into its eyes or maybe you look at the spot a little bit to the right or left and watch it peripheral like. You get a feel for what connects." he says too quietly for human ears.

"Try telling it to come closer, maybe just to the edge of the light, maybe offer it food."

Care to try a roll for one sux? Animalism 1, Feral Whisper Manipulation + Animal Ken+ Animalism)?

[Derek Menzies]

  Feral Whisper 1sux

Date		Action		Roll		Result
2019-09-16 00:30:45		Derek Menzies rolls 3 to attempt a Feral Whisper [MAN-1(untrained)+Animalism] (10 Again)		5, 4, 9		1 success

Derek is obedient, careful to follow instructions to the letter. He observes the creature carefully, considering its perspective in all this. A little beast with little aspirations and little motivations. It wants food, but Derek has none to give. Or perhaps it wants warmth but it fears the fire. He can understand that, the fear and uncertainty. What would scare him, facing down a greater predator. Calm and nonthreatening. Derek knows how to be nonthreatening.

He listens for a squeak and tries to emulate it in what Derek considers a welcoming manner. A reassurance that it will not be in danger for doing so.

[Dirt Nap]

Dirt Nap sounds impressed, though he speaks so softly as to almost subvocalize, "Oh, you're a natural hunter alright. Patient and harmless seeming. Well done." he says. "You just keep practicing that, for now. Get comfortable, and you're guesses will get better, and pretty soon, you'll be able to understand what they're saying back to you. That'll be the first bit of Animalism. When you can talk to them, you can begin to stop asking them, and start telling. A little more practice, and they won't be able to say 'no'. Eventually, you'll get to the point where the Beasts you can't see can't say 'no' to you either."

He ponders a bit and then says, "You know, I can see the progression there in Animalism, but I don't see it in your discipline, Obfuscate I mean. I learned to hide small things. I am not good at it, but I can do it. I can't see how to progress to masking my Beast though. Can you spell it out for me?"

[Derek Menzies]

Derek sort of slumps his shoulders at the praise, instinctively thinking the encouraging statements contain a hint of patronization through the filter of his insecurities. But he nods nonetheless. He saw the appeal, certainly, tricking food to come to him when greater meals weren't available. Very handy.

At Dirt Nap's mention of Obfuscation, Derek takes his focus off the creature and looks back to him.

"Mm, right. Well, since you've already made some progress on gathering shadows, it shouldn't be as difficult to extend your ability. Obfuscation, as I'm sure you've come to realize, is more about perception than true concealment. The mind is a fragile thing, easily confused and manipulated. So often Kine and Kindred alike rely on instinct to govern their attentions. Drawing shadow is about removing that thing, that urgency to pay attention," he explains whispering much like Dirt Nap has been.

"So it is with the Beast. Big 'B'. It is Kindred instict that our Beasts take notice of each other. A natural instinct. And so we use the same technique of shadowing it from others. It's not about suppressing it so much as shifting it to a blind spot for those observing you."

"Go on and try. Think of how you gather shadows to objects and instead think of your Beast as the object of perception. East it in and imagine an obstacle for it to hide behind, obscuring it from detection," he says with as much encouragement as he is able.

[Dirt Nap]

"Huh." Dirt Nap mutters. "That's a different way of going about it than I thought, alright." he furrows his brow, and then the pressure of his Beast is suddenly just gone!

  2 successes

Date		Action		Roll		Result
2019-09-17 22:05:27		Dirt Nap rolls 4 to contest of wills Obfuscate 2 Mask of Tranquility (Resolve 4 + Obfuscate 1 + Stealth 0 -1) (10 Again)		4, 1, 1, 10, 10, 3		2 successes

"Well, that was easier than I thought, with you pointing the way. I thought I had to tussle with the Beast, but it doesn't hardly have anything to do with it!" he remarks in apparent amazement!

He chuckles. "You have a real knack for teaching. If you make it, the Order will be the better for you're being in it."

[Derek Menzies]

The change is perceptible. A drastic shift in atmosphere as the suffocating tension of his rival's presence alleviates, marking the Savage's success.

A fleeting sensation of pride wells in Derek for a moment as he gets caught up in Dirt Nap's excitement. Though he resists the praise, he can't help but smile.

"You think so, eh? Well, I mean, it's second nature to me now. I suppose when you are only good at a handful of things you tend to have more insight about those." It's about as close to accepting a compliment as it comes for him.

"I'm glad we got to make this trade. We both seem to want the same things. Mastery of our predatory nature. Control over that thing that sometimes seems no cage can hold. And we can avoid the nonsense of Kindred power struggles to distract us from the true struggle."

"I should mention, I completed those tasks you assigned me. The Herald has been made aware of the Ordo's intension moving forward. And I have dueled Patience, pushing myself to the limit without revealing my loyalties."

He stares intently, marking Dirt Nap's reaction, and seemingly with more to say on the matter.

[Dirt Nap]

Dirt Nap nods at Derek working his way round about to accepting a compliment, in theory.

He grins at Derek's assertion of completing his tasks. "Now that does sound promising." Dirt Nap says. "Let's talk a little bit about those tasks, and how they point the way to that goal, of you going into a deep sleep, plowing through a bunch of terrors and nightmares, and waking up Changed into something that can shut down a frenzy by pure stubbornness without any doubt, no matter how hungry or mad or afraid the Beast is." He invites.

"First, off, I guess I could warn you that I tend to be in favor of the 'Socratic' approach. Instead of me telling you, I aim to ask you. So, what do you think was the reason for those tasks? I mean under the top layer, how could each one adjust your aim to keeping mind and soul together in the Chrysalis and waking up Changed? Mind you, I see each of them a little like the thing you just did with the mouse, only with your Beast." He hints.

[Derek Menzies]

Derek looks serious, glancing between Dirt Nap and the fire and then out into the darkness.

"I think that approach is fine. I'll answer the best I can," he says with a modicum of uncertainty. "I suppose the task of speaking with the Herald was, as you said, to avoid the distractions of politicking. That making an effort to officially sever those interests would hone my mind and attention towards the seriousness of the Change."

"With Patience, I imagine it was honing my body for the same purpose. That enduring pain and the risk of losing control would better prepare me for the ordeal that the Change has in store," he answers succinctly.