Learning Curve

[Phoenyx]

Phoenyx couldn't remember the name of the bar. She didn't really care - bars were another of her lapses in experience, aside form the times she had been with Kaze. So, it was time to try and overcome that bit of inexperience.

The Arrow had managed to at least make herself presentable. A shower and a nice top had made some difference. She felt a little more alive, and forcing herself out of the Circle had been good.

What she did know is these fruity drinks were really nice and helped her relax. Who knew iced tea was so good? She was already onto her second one!

Phoenyx watches the crowd, sucking idly on the straw, waiting for October to arrive.

Orianna

[October]

One huge thing that sucked with moving? Unpacking. And she had done very little of it. Which meant searching boxes for something decent to wear out. Sure, she had her scrubs, but she already spent way too much time wearing those. Plus, the ones from a couple hours ago had to be thrown out, too much blood to save em.

Finally, she finds some jeans and a black tank top. That should do. Also she found a long red colored jacket, all in all, a fairly decent outfit.

Having just washed her hair, it was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, and she wore no makeup.

Walking in, she looks around before seeing the Arrow and waves, making her way over.

“Hi!” she greeted, grabbing a seat, “How’s it going?”

[Phoenyx]

There's the sound of a straw sucking the bottom of a glass and Phoenyx looks up as October slides into the booth.

"Hi!" she says brightly, with a slightly dizzy smile. "I like your sweater."

"Thank you for coming. I needed... somebody to make sure I wasn't going crazy." She looks at the empty glass and cocks her head. "I was going to get another iced tea. Do you want one? They're really good." She smiles serenely. "Though I think they have a lot of alcohol in them..." Phoenyx fake-whispers, then giggles. "More than I thought anyway..."

She looks at the Acanthus. "Have you ever had a boyfriend? And were they an idiot?"

Yep. Pretty buzzed and still blunt as a rock.

[October]

Placing her bag on the floor, “Thank you! Can’t believe I found it, I have so many boxes to go through.” She hated moving, despised it. Was a huge hassle.

“Oh, well, I’m not that kind of doctor, but I’ll do my best!” jokes the Enchantress with a big smile. Jokes? She had them. Looking at the glass, “Yeah, sure. I’m not on call.” Was Phoenyx buzzed? Did Arrows drink like this? At the fake whisper and giggle, it was sealed, the Arrow seemed to be feeling pretty good. The fake whisper was returned, “That’s ok. I won’t tell if you won’t.” looks like this was going to be a fun talk.

Then the question. And she blinked a few times, a little surprised.

“Oh, Um, yeah. I’ve had a few.” Not too many because of school and her schedule. “An idiot?” and she laughed, “Some were. I think it’s a guy thing, they all seem to have their moments of being complete idiots.” She shrugs, “But most of the time it’s pretty harmless. Why?” was she looking for relationship advice? From her?! That could be, well, weird.

[Phoenyx]

"Tha's good. 'M not supposed to drink on duty." Did the Firebird slur?. Nah. Cant have been.

Asking for help from a new member had its advantages - October didn't know how out of sorts Phoenyx was behaving. The little Arrow slips out of the booth and walks over to the bar, swaying slightly to the music as she waits. Coming back with two long island iced teas, she slips back and sighs expressively. That's just it. I'm always on duty. I don't get to... to... stop. Do you get that?" She cocks her head and sucks on her straw again.

The Obrimos points at October. "Yes! Complete idiots! And he's screwing up all over again doing The same. Mistake. Even if he wasn't my... um. Well dumb is dumb no matter who you sleep with or how good his abs are." This chatty Phoenyx is a long way from the reserved soldier at the Concillium. "So! Answer this. If you work with a guy doctor who spent his life being a guy doctor working to be a guy doctor and you started working together and you both be doctors so thats the most important thing and he becomes your closest friend and then you have sex because he's hot and you really need it but he's also really sweet but kinda dumb sometimes, and then one day he wakes up and says he doesnt want to be a doctor any more! The Arrow gesticulates emphatically. So This thing that brought you together and makes you feel things which you hate because they're hard and complicated and make no sense and he says he just wants to throw it all away and abandon you to be a doctor alone! But he still likes you so that makes it okay somehow! But isn't that guy stupid for throwing it all away with for no reason no idea what he's going to do instead?Isn't he... betraying you for not helping you be a doctor any more? And you don't need help, from him, or anyone" she stresses pointedly - it certainly sounds like the manner of protesting way too much - "But... you know you can do it... better when he's a doctor too? Standing by you? Having your back? And now it feels like he's not doing these things by.... um... not being a doctor with you any more?" She slumps sadly down in the booth and sucks on the straw again.

Dark eyes look up at October. "But you're... new. And you don't know us or have stupid emotions about people that make choosing hard, so you can tell me I'm right about him being stupid. Um. The Doctor like you. And I'll know you're right because feelings aren't messing with your head. You see?" She sounds strangely certain.

[October]

She bites her tongue to not laugh, but still smirks, “Well, it does tend to be frowned upon.”

Thankfully, it appeared she could still walk, always a bonus. Tasting the drink, she realized the arrow was right, it did have a decent amount of liquor in it. “Always on duty?” a chuckle, “Yeah, I get that. I’m usually either always at the hospital, or on call. But I suppose that goes with our jobs.” She knew what she was signing up for.

And then came the waterfall of words. And the Enchantress tries to follow. Really, she does. So boyfriend who had good abs? And was an idiot? A small sip was taken of the drink.

“Well, a few things need to be considered here. His being a doctor is what brought us together, and formed a base for the relationship to blossom. Ok. I can see that happening.” She agrees, “Now, if he decided one day not to be a doctor? Well, it’s not unheard of, the medical field is very stressful with a high turnover rate.” She wasn’t completely sure where this was going. “I think I would want to know why he wanted to stop being a doctor. Was it a decision made from a well thought out decision, or more of a knee jerk reaction because it’s difficult. No one throws something away and walks away without a reason. Some people are forced to become doctors to please their families, so I’d be curious if that was the case. If it was, and I cared about him, I’d want him to do what makes him happy.” Now the feelings being hard? “Feeling things are hard, and they don’t get easier. But they’re also good, if handled well.” They were scary if you were unsure about them. “I like to think I don’t need anyone’s help in being a doctor.” She adds with a small smile, “I know my skills and I know how good I am.” Did she need this guy to make her a better person or something? “Working as a team is always great! But it doesn’t make my abilities better on my own. I do that. A guy should compliment you and what you can already do, push you to be better and work harder. Not make you feel like you need them to be worth anything. Him not wanting to be a doctor with me wouldn’t make me a worse doctor. It just means he would bring different skills to the table.”

Stupid emotions? She had to smile, seemed Phoenyx wasn’t sure how to handle emotions. “Stupid emotions?” a chuckle, “I’ve had them sometimes.” She was human after all. “But I get what you’re saying.” I think. “I can’t say you’re right, I don’t have all the facts. From what you’ve told me, he decided to take his life in a different direction. Which is fine, it happens. But him doing that, has caused your emotions to be all over the place, and you’re not sure how to handle them. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s normal. But tell me, honestly, do think he’s stupid because he didn’t talk to you first, or because he made a decision without including you?” she asks. “Guys are stupid, some I think just don’t know any better, and some, well, I think they just play stupid.”

[Phoenyx]

Phoenyx listens, her brow knotted in concentration. Did Kaze have a good reason? Did...did I even ask?

"Why don't they get easier? I tried to understand them..." she frowns. "I know I'm good... but, well... what if he... um... was a better doctor than you? Like he... does surgery better. Like you are a team and work best together but he doesn't want to be on the team any more. I don't need anyone! Just... if him leaving made you the only doctor and you promised other doctors you would look after the doctors but they all left and now he won't be a doctor too?" Phoenyx sighs and suck on the straw. "I.... I'm no making much sense, am I?"

Her shoulders slump and the Firebird looks small and dejected. "But... I'm right? Aren't I? His direction and mine were meant to be the same," she pleads, poking the ice in her drink with the straw. "I hate feeling like this. Is there anything that can make it stop? The Ice tea kinda helps, but... I feel kinda... tingly." She smiles driftily, looking at her drink, then frowns. "It's stupid because he's doing it wrong! He's... he's leaving me to be the only Arrow! Um... I mean... to leave you to do doctoring..." the Obrimos wraps her arms around herself, her eyes welling up.

[October]

“Emotions?” she asks, “I have no idea. And I’m not sure we’re meant to understand them per say. Only interpret them and learn from them. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling. But if you’re not used to them, then they’re confusing, and a way to piss you off.” She was no expert on feelings, and in her line of work, she had to shut them off. “A better doctor than me?” she snorted, then composed herself, “Ok, hypothetically.” Cause no way. “If we worked best together and he decided to go off on his own, well, then it means I need to step my game up. Show I’m the better surgeon.” October then holds her hands up, “Ok, no one said you needed anyone.” Easy tiger. This was so fucking confusing. A half smile appeared, “Not really. But I’m trying to follow.” Her tone sympathic, “The world will always need doctors. Some are cut out for it, and some just aren’t. It takes a certain kind of strength to stay a doctor when all the others have left. It means you need to take on a larger work load, and really step up. It won’t be easy, but in the end, it’ll be worth it when the ones that left see what they’re missing out on.” That sounded good. Maybe. Man she sucks at this.

Shaking her head, “I won’t lie to you. We hardly know each other and starting a relationship based off lies isn’t good. But I don’t think you’re right. But I also don’t think you’re completely wrong either.” Gray eyes look at the firebird, “Why were your directions supposed to be the same? Why would that make you a better or stronger pair? Isn't the strongest pair the one that work best off each others strengths and weaknesses?” she asks. “Would you only be happy with him if your paths were the same? What about that makes it the best option?” a sip was taken as she listens. And as she spoke again, her heart went out to her. A little bit. “Yeah, it sucks. And it’s going to hurt. Nothing will take it away or make it stop.” She points to the drinks, “These will numb it, but that’s it. You need to face it, conquer it and be more badass than when you started. Otherwise it will beat you, and we don’t want that.” A shake of her head. At the mention of Arrows, her eyebrow quirks, interesting turn of events. “If I have to be the only doctor, then so be it. I know I’m damn good at what I do. And he’ll find what he’s good at and what makes him happy. Isn’t that what we all want? To be happy?” at least one some level. “So, uh, pardon the personal question, but is this the first time you’ve had those feelings? The first time a guy has meant so much?” valid question.

Oh no, please don’t cry. She hates crying, makes her soo uncomfortable.

[Phoenyx]

The Firebird nods along. "They are confusing, and they do piss me off. I don't always know what they mean - all warm and cold and achy. Easier just to focus on something else." She frowns. "Okay, but what if he had beaten you at... um... surgeoning. So you knew he was better. What would everyone else think? Even if you were better at doctoring than them?"

Phoenyx stares carefully at the table. "I... don't get how I could be wrong." Unshakable pride and confidence, the Obrimos hallmarks, are shaking. "We just... were? I never thought we would be anything different. I just... knew... it was best." Shoulders shake, and her voice cracks. "It wont... *sob*... beat me. I have to win eventually...." A pair of large tears begin rolling down her cheeks. "There... there must be something to make it go away? I.... I thought he was happy. He always seems happy, like a puppy!"

Something about that thought breaks the damn holding up Phoenyx's emotions. She slumps onto the table, tears leaking from her eyes. Very slowly, she shakes her head. "Not... not like this. All... hot and cold... and scary and happy. He knows how much being a doctor means to me. And..." She swallows drily, "and after saying all this about leaving her says he loves me! I mean, who does that?! Dump all that on me then say that...." She sobs. "That was the really stupid part."

So why did it feel so warm?

[October]

A solemn nod, “Yup, those are feelings. But I do know one thing they mean, they mean you care about him.” That was obvious. “And yeah, it’s easier to focus on something else, but they’re going to keep popping up until you deal with them.” Just how it was, she thinks as she sips on her straw.

Wait, surgeoning? Not even a word, but ok. “Why would it matter what everyone else thought? I can’t always be the best, there will always be someone better. It’s just how life is. You don’t strike me as the type to care what other people think. Am I wrong?” serious question here.

A gentle smile and tone, “Hey, it’s ok to be wrong. You don’t have to be right all the time.” It would be awesome to be right all the time though. “Being in a relationship with someone isn’t easy. You can’t map it out. It’s about give and take, sacrificing part of you to build the other up. If you both are surgeons, that’s cool and all, but it makes things dull, takes away the excitement and builds unhealthy competition.” Oh shit. She was crying. Gray eyes look nervously around,
suddenly the Enchantress was uncomfortable. Not knowing what to say. “Hey, it’s ok, it’s going to be ok.” She says, “Have to win? Why do you have to win? Hasn’t anyone taught you it’s ok to lose?” cause if not, that was fucked. A napkin was grabbed from the dispenser and she offers it to the girl, “I’m sorry, there isn’t. The only thing to do it face them, acknowledge them, learn what caused them, and get past it.” Wait, like a puppy?! That took a few blinks to comprehend. “Uh, you do know guys aren’t like puppies right? They don’t rely on us to take care of them, they’re able to think for themselves. Maybe what he needed to be happy was to step back, and evaluate the direction his life was going. Maybe he needs the chance to be who he wants to be. And maybe he needs your support in it. Walking away from everything you’ve ever known isn’t easy, and having someone you care about supporting you can mean the world.”

Ah for fucks sake.

“Then keep being a doctor and be the best damn doctor there is.” Seriously. “Did he take it from you? Tell you that you couldn’t be a doctor?” of course not. “Who does that? Someone in love, someone reaching out trying to show you they care. It wasn’t stupid, it was his way of saying despite him wanting a change of career,” she’s assuming here, “he still cares for you, that those feelings have not changed. He told you because of how you reacted probably, he felt he might be losing you and it was a way to try and bring you back.” She tries to reach out and move the drink, she clearly had enough. Getting up, she orders a water and coffee, setting both in front of Phoenyx.