Desire had always been such an easy emotion for her to Harvest.

The right cut of a dress, a bashful bat of her eyes, a well-timed giggle, and gentle touch on the hand, it was all too easy.

But that’s how she had been trained. How she had been put together. Being desired, yet unattainable. That’s how it was always supposed to be. There was no other acceptable way. Her Keeper had been cruel about it, removing any other emotion that got in the way. Guilt? Gone. Shame? Gone. Love? Gone. In place was a cold, numbing void, a heart that couldn’t feel. A soul with nothing to give but shattered hopes and dreams.

Under the knife I surrendered
The innocence yours to consume
You cut it away
And you filled me up with hate


And so her life had been once she escaped. The training ingrained. Men and woman used for what Sera needed. Glamour, some money, a bit of amusement for the night. When she would walk away, after getting what she wanted, the hurt and anger in their eyes meant nothing. The Nix felt nothing. She wasn’t supposed to feel. Feeling was bad, feeling meant pain and suffering for her. So she turned it on others.

This is the world you've created
The product of what I've become
My soul and my youth
Seems it's all for you to use
If I could take back the moment
I let you get under my skin
Relent or resist?
Seems the monster always wins

Though now, things had taken a dramatic turn. Her once cold and dead heart beat again, filled with a variety of emotions she didn’t know how to handle.

She wasn’t built for this.

Love.

It felt real. Everything from the butterflies in her stomach to the sheer joy and happiness when she was with him. It felt so real, and right. Yet....terrifying.

She didn’t know how to proceed. There was no training, no conditioning for it in her past. And it scared her. If she could feel love, she could feel the sting and ache of pain and rejection. Her heart was in the hands of someone else, and they could break it so easily. But was it this fear that drove her nightmares? Reminding her of the pain others had caused her? Or was it just a justified fear of being hurt?

My heart's an artifice, a decoy soul
Who knew the emptiness could be so cold?
I've lost the parts of me that make me whole
I am the darkness
I'm a monster

Starset 'Monster'