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(1908) Dirt Nap and Patience

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  1. #1
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    Side thread in anticipation of a discussion of religion between Vampires.


    Dirt Nap smiles at Patience and says, "Well, Ma'am. I have to say, I do have my opinions, but I don't claim to really know all that much. So I'd rather listen to what you have to say than share my opinions that might give offense to you, when I don't believe I have the Truth of things enough to be fighting over it."

    He nods, "I mean, I do enjoy a good discussion, but not when the other person has a lot more invested than I do and is liable to be offended."

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  3. #2
    Patience's Avatar

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    Patience

    Nosferatu Curse
    Something is...off about Patience’s face. Or is it her body as a whole, the way she carries herself? Something’s not quite right in any event, though you can never seem to say exactly what that may be. A subtle asymmetry of her features, an odd cock of the eye or twist of the lips? A barely detectable wrongness in the set of her limbs, in the rhythm of her walk? An unlocatable strangeness: it’s all the more disquieting because that ‘something’ can’t be named, tracked down, and assigned a place. In fact, it seems to change moment to moment, depending on where she is in the room and where you are in relation to her.

    -1
    NOS
    2
    PRE

    Patience follows Dirt Nap. Her movements are at turn fluid and jerky. Some too fast, others too slow.

    She comes to a rest before the Savage. Too close. When she speaks, the air forced from her dead lungs carries the smell of the grave. She stares, unblinking.

    "Why are you smiling?"

    The question comes out flat. A challenge, or is her curiosity genuine?

    "I am not asking you for the Truth. I know the Truth." The very Word of God and his Dark Prophet.

    "I want to know your opinion, Mr. Nap. We are creatures that suffer our every moment. The Beast. Endless Hunger. Rage. Isolation and loneliness. Is this 'tribulation' our just punishment, or a chance for enlightenment and growth?"

    A pause. "Or are you afraid to say what you believe?"

    Patience waits.

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  5. #3
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    New Identity Clayton Jordan Carter
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    Dirt Nap sighs. "Well then Ma'am, Patience. I guess I hope you can live up to your name." he says.

    "Before my embrace, I was something of a Jesus Freak, you could say. Others did say, anyway. I was a ministry student. Studied a bit of theology. Didn't get as far as learning the original languages, Hebrew and Greek, mind you, but it was on the course."

    Dirt Nap goes silent, and unmoving, completely still for a long minute.

    Then, abruptly he says, "I got sick. Cancer. I fought it hard. Dragged it out a bit. Made the cancer fight to kill me. Through the whole thing...I didn't just fight to take as many breaths as I could; I fought to stay me. And to treat people decent no matter how I felt."

    Dirt Nap stares at Patience. "The fight to take a breath, to need it, is over. I lost that one, like I knew I would. I didn't care; I was determined to stretch it out the farthest I could. The fight to act like I care; to treat everyone like they matter though; I'm not done with that. Even if most people take it for weakness, or being a coward, like you seem to have."

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  7. #4
    Patience's Avatar

    Presence
    (Blunt)
    Contacts
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    Patience

    Nosferatu Curse
    Something is...off about Patience’s face. Or is it her body as a whole, the way she carries herself? Something’s not quite right in any event, though you can never seem to say exactly what that may be. A subtle asymmetry of her features, an odd cock of the eye or twist of the lips? A barely detectable wrongness in the set of her limbs, in the rhythm of her walk? An unlocatable strangeness: it’s all the more disquieting because that ‘something’ can’t be named, tracked down, and assigned a place. In fact, it seems to change moment to moment, depending on where she is in the room and where you are in relation to her.

    -1
    NOS
    2
    PRE

    Patience listens. She does not blink.

    When Dirt Nap mentions his living preoccupations, her left eye twitches, opens wider than the right. "And do you believe now? Do you keep your Faith?" The skin on Patience's face seems too tight. Given their intimate distance, Dirt Nap can see the contours of her skull under the flesh.

    "Your cancer. Your death. Do you believe you have been punished? Or have you been enlightened?"

    What will the Savage say? Patience has to admit, she's interested.

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  9. #5
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    Dirt Nap chuckles slightly, "Well, what I believe...is pretty unorthydox I guess. At least, no one I ever shared my thoughts on the subject ever seemed to much agree."

    He conspicuously takes a breath and lets it out in a sigh.

    "My Sire, apparently was impressed with my will to fight for Life on any kind of terms, and decided to see what that would look like after an Embrace." Dirt Nap says. "The thing is. I remember dying. The cancer had its way with me before my Embrace. That is the first thing that I believe that causes some problems for other people. I believe that the Christian man who lay in that bed fought the good fight, ran the race, put his faith in Jesus, and passed, to his eternal reward. Basically, I believe he is gone and out of the picture, and I am not him."

    Dirt Nap pauses, looking at Patience curiously. "So, I don't know if that will make any sense at all to you, but while I do believe in the Gospel and the Christian faith, I believe it applies to people, and I believe I am just a left over echo, a shadow of another fella., I'm like a fading photograph of a man who God has already kept His deal with according to His good book."

    "So, who I am now? I have the memories and ideals of a real man, whose gone, pronounced dead, and I somehow heard the pronouncement. I don't have any kind of deal with God. That was for the real man, not me. I have...some kind of continued existence, that I didn't earn either as a reward or a punishment. I believe that when I stop existing, it will be like a physical cassette tape recording of a dead man's voice that finally wears out after too many replays. I will just be done."

    Dirt Nap pauses in silent, still thought.

    Then he speaks suddenly, "But I do feel a debt to the man whose memories and feelings and beliefs are recorded in me, to fight like he did against the inevitable fading. To be as much in line with the right and wrong he followed as long as I can, to honor the recording of him in me and fight against it wearing thin as long as i possibly can, however I can. That's why the Ordo Dracul appeals to me. I can learn or work out for myself practical tools to fight against the condition I am in to honor the man in whose image I exist. I learned to quash frenzy, because he wouldn't have given in to it. I learned to feed off animals instead of people, because he wouldn't have ever allowed himself to live off other people like that."


    Dirt Nap looks at Patience. "I don't expect any kind of reward, and I don't feel I'm being punished. I feel like I am a new creation, put here to fight for the memory of the man whose gone, not to try to convince myself I am more than just his shadow, but to try to live up to being as good a shadow as I can for as long as I can. Cause, you know, just being a shadow is still being connected to the Light."


  10. #6
    Patience's Avatar

    Presence
    (Blunt)
    Contacts
    (Street)
    Patience

    Nosferatu Curse
    Something is...off about Patience’s face. Or is it her body as a whole, the way she carries herself? Something’s not quite right in any event, though you can never seem to say exactly what that may be. A subtle asymmetry of her features, an odd cock of the eye or twist of the lips? A barely detectable wrongness in the set of her limbs, in the rhythm of her walk? An unlocatable strangeness: it’s all the more disquieting because that ‘something’ can’t be named, tracked down, and assigned a place. In fact, it seems to change moment to moment, depending on where she is in the room and where you are in relation to her.

    -1
    NOS
    2
    PRE

    In this instance, Patience's name is apt. She waits and listens, having some practice at giving space for confessions.

    When he finishes, Patience holds her silence for a moment more. Save for a low hum, deep in the back of her throat. Like a moth trapped in a bottle. It is just audible to Dirt Nap, but Patience doesn't seem to know that she's making it.

    Her eyes close and then snap open. Her gaze is intense.

    "You do know that the Lord has a purpose for you. Even now." It is not a question. Patience's hand shoots out and grabs Dirt Nap's shoulder. Her grasp is cold and hard, her fingers look like claws grasping at his tuxedo jacket. They will likely soil the fine garment. "We are not released by death, Mr. Nap. It may be a comfort to believe so. But He still has need of us."

    The Ordo Dracul concerns her little. To Patience's mind, they are two-bit scientists and snake-oil salesmen. They do not make a claim on the divine, as the Heretics do. But they have done this Mr. Nap a disservice by allowing him to shirk his duty.

    "We are a scourge on the living. We feed to survive, but our hunger is more than just sustenance. It is a lesson. For the kine." Not for animals. She pauses. Her hand drops from his shoulder. It hangs, stiffened, at her side.

    "There is only one reward, Mr. Nap. Only one. Everything ends. And in the meantime, we are meant to serve His purpose. You and I. All the damned. If you would know it, that purpose, I could lend you something to read."

    Patience's face is somehow transformed, a religious ecstasy enlivens her features. The effect is terrible.

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  12. #7
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    Dirt Nap starts when Patience shoots out her hand to grab his shoulder. Then he goes still, apparently listening.

    "Well. I do believe that by definition, God being Who and what He is, there wouldn't be anyone or anything that doesn't serve His purpose one way or another, whether someone wanted to or not."

    When she stops talking, he reaches up to put his hand over hers and gently but firmly pries her hand off of him.

    "If you don't mind, Ma'am. It's a rental, and I'd like to see the deposit again." he says.

    Then he smiles and nods, "I'm up for a bit of reading. If it wouldn't spoil it, would you mind telling me The Truth about what the Beast is exactly?"

  13. #8
    Patience's Avatar

    Presence
    (Blunt)
    Contacts
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    Patience

    Nosferatu Curse
    Something is...off about Patience’s face. Or is it her body as a whole, the way she carries herself? Something’s not quite right in any event, though you can never seem to say exactly what that may be. A subtle asymmetry of her features, an odd cock of the eye or twist of the lips? A barely detectable wrongness in the set of her limbs, in the rhythm of her walk? An unlocatable strangeness: it’s all the more disquieting because that ‘something’ can’t be named, tracked down, and assigned a place. In fact, it seems to change moment to moment, depending on where she is in the room and where you are in relation to her.

    -1
    NOS
    2
    PRE

    Patience actually gives Dirt Nap a smile when he speaks to the Lord's designs. It pulls the skin of her face tight. There appear to be too many teeth in her mouth.

    "That's right, Mr. Nap. Exactly right. Whether we want to or not." She seems satisfied, at peace for the moment. Which is somehow more disconcerting than her usual agitation.

    Patience does not seem to mind, or even notice, the removal of her hand. "Good. I will bring you a copy of the Testament of Longinus."

    In answer to his question about the Truth, Patience leans in, her lips mere inches from the Savage's ear. She smells of mold and dust. And blood. Her long brown hair brushes against the side of Dirt Nap's face, sticking like cobwebs.

    She whispers: "The Truth, Mr. Nap, is simple: The Lord Damned us for a reason. We are the wolves among the Cattle. We punish them for their sin and remind them of his eternal displeasure. The Beast, its endless Hunger, is the means and motivation of that punishment. The Truth is: The Beast is God's awful gift. It is the gift of his Judgement."

    Patience pulls away, looks him square in the eye. Speaks louder now: "And we, the Damned, are the instruments of that judgement."

    With these final words, the haunt's whole body shudders, as if buffeted by a spectral wind. For the moment, she is silent.

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  15. #9
    Dirt Nap's Avatar

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    Dirt Nap manages to control and restrain any show of relief when Patience pulls away, though perhaps he takes a breath and releases it slowly.

    He hears her words with an expression of curious interest, not revulsion. He matches her silence with an unnatural, staring stillness.

    Then he says, softly, "You told me the Source, and the purpose of the Beast, Ma'am. Is it a revealed Truth to you, what it actually is? For example, is it a demon that is separate from our mind meant to torment and tempt us, or a tempting spirit sent by God to actually show us what He wants or is it our own sin nature let loose and nothing held back for us to follow or wrestle with as we choose?" he asks.

  16. #10
    Patience's Avatar

    Presence
    (Blunt)
    Contacts
    (Street)
    Patience

    Nosferatu Curse
    Something is...off about Patience’s face. Or is it her body as a whole, the way she carries herself? Something’s not quite right in any event, though you can never seem to say exactly what that may be. A subtle asymmetry of her features, an odd cock of the eye or twist of the lips? A barely detectable wrongness in the set of her limbs, in the rhythm of her walk? An unlocatable strangeness: it’s all the more disquieting because that ‘something’ can’t be named, tracked down, and assigned a place. In fact, it seems to change moment to moment, depending on where she is in the room and where you are in relation to her.

    -1
    NOS
    2
    PRE

    These are questions Patience enjoys, questions she's asked herself. Over and over.

    "I am nothing but a servant, Mr. Nap. A poor servant."

    She pauses.

    "But I will say this: I have often thought to myself that the Beast is the mark of our withdrawal from the Lord's Grace. The mark of our damnation. It is a name for our eternal division from Him. That name does not indicate something. It points to nothing. It is the name of a hole that cannot be filled, no matter the blood we pour into it. And yet the Lord sets us to work in spite of, and through, our damnation. Such is His mercy."

    Patience bows her head. If she looks to be in prayer, it's because she is.

    When she raises her head, her eyes are heavy-lidded. She looks every bit the somnambulant corpse.

    "And what do they tell you about these matters in your Ordo, sir?"

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