Anger Management (Group sharing)

[Xadun]

The blue-haired punk relaxes a little as Freya talks, nodding to the suggestions of music and then similar examples. Oh. We're just out and saying we use sex to blow of steam. Okay. Cool! Guess you can't really be prudish and angry.

"That's because you always see me when I'm not covered in oil or arguing with guys about a work schedule that would be fine if people just did as they were told!" Emily whispers to Circe, grinning. When the brunnette giggles about being hot and sweaty Emily sniggers as well. "Shhh! You're worse than Echo. I'm trying to help here!" She looks back around the room.

Laurence's ideas sound fine. I still know you from somewhere.... They don't strike much of a chord, Emily never being a big reader, but she tries to pay attention. It's gotten a little harder to listen being strapped between the shy hunk on one side and the firey vixen on the other. But Emily nibbles her donut distractedly and nods again to Theo's musical distraction. "Love music. Never tried to use it on it's own to stop being mad though." Emily nods to Theo. "What do you play?" She asks Freya, adding "Either of you?" to Leo. Oooh. Cute and a talent. rawr.

Val is talking again. The fact was, very little was sinking in. Emily was trying, really. It was just.... well, she had come to help Val, not the other way around. Alcohol and sex weren't dangerous, they were fun! The Ithaeur didn't have many walls, but the ones she had were built on years of denial, repression, and concealing a bulk of her life from the Herd - one little pow-wow wasn't going to open those gates any day soon. Mind drifting, her eyes wandered over Leo, his form wrapped in loose clothing, and she vaguely imagined what he might be hiding under there, letting a dirty smile touch her lips, just in time to chuckle as the penny drops on the tall guy's face. She sips her coffee innocently, still watching Leo's reaction. Managing to tune in towards the end of Val's question, Emily finds herself muttering "Spiders," darkly before she can stop herself. "Um. Wait. Er. Is this just things that we are mad at and then see them? Or, we see these things and then we get mad? Which way round, or does it not matter?" the smaller girl asks Val, trying to keep conversation going.

Emily smells more than sees Leo top off his coffee, and licks her lips. It's too much to resist any more... "Say, uh, Leo? My coffee's a little cold. You wouldn't mind being a gentleman and warming it up a little, would you?" She asks innocently, fixing him with wide blue eyes and gently putting her hand on his arm, squeezing gently. Mmm. Cute, musical and works out... He relaxes now Lucien's gone and it might just be his lucky day.

Freya offers the quirky brunette a smile as she compliments the Hunterheart's strategy before explaining her own. In truth, a piece of Freya is slightly envious about the control Circe claims to possess on her Wrath. Freya can often push back the Stalker, but time and again it will rise when the situation demands. At the mention of beer she gives a soft chuckle, "Oh! Beer is a little... rare for me. Give me rum or a cocktail any day..." Freya didn't take a lot of pride in her figure, but she did enough to note that beer wouldn't be beneficial in maintaining it. Or maybe that's just something a personal trainer in Chicago told her. Who knows? Still, the brunette had a solid strategy for her rage that would fit Freya, "You box? I'm looking for a gym myself. Any recommendations? Doesn't need to be strictly boxing." Perhaps, this would help her come to terms with the rage. It could offer her understanding.
That would appease She-Who-Stalks.

The Quiet Man, Lawrence receives little more than a nod and a half-smile as he explains his own strategies for dealing with it. She disagreed with the notion of shutting things out, but then her memories of Arcadia and her pain made that difficult. Additionally, Freya was not much of a reader. She wasn't illiterate, but it seemed the Beast in her was rarely interested in written words. It was a primeval thing.

Theo's strategies seem good, but Freya doesn't know how if she would be capable of doing herself. Still he had shared, so that was something.

Then came the Doctor.

Freya seemed to offer her the same half-smile as Lawrence at first, her mind blocking her attempts to dissuade the use of alcohol and sex. Freya knew it was bad. It wasn't healthy at all. At the notion of confronting her issues, the Doctor had also lost the Beast. How do you confront becoming a monster? Being remade as something inhuman?" However, she shook away the thought quickly. The Doctor did not know her history, it'd be shameful to refuse her want to help. Then... she spoke of losing her own children in a divorce and Freya's eyes snapped back to her's offering a look of empathy in her eyes. She knew how the Doctor felt. Their circumstances were... different, but perhaps the effect was the same. A little similar at least.

She thought for a long moment on Dr. Queen's next question, "I mean sometimes its a person. Like negligent parents who don't realize what they're ruining? Or something? Other times its a thing formed from my circumstances I guess? Something that shouldn't exist, but it endures..." There was some truth to the second part. Sure negligent parents pissed her off, but the source of Freya's anger - and sorrow - was the Matron of the Black Wood. The statement seemed to fit, as She would surely be unnatural here.

Then Freya found her gaze moving to Emily and Leo. The pair were quickly providing some levity to the gradually more serious meeting. No irritated glances fell their way this time. Instead? Freya smirked, Horny kids... However, the blue maned seductress had asked a question. "Mostly, folk and a little bit of rock," She said, her voice almost a gentle coo as she recalled her love for playing, "I play whatever I feel like, but those tend to be my top picks. My guitar's acoustic so... I have to think about that when selecting music." As Leo poured more booze to his coffee and Emily requested some of her own, the smirk lessened, but only for a moment. She couldn't protest it. God knows if she would use some herself with all the stuff she had shared thus far.

Theo centers himself while the others flirt. "Ok Doc. I'm in a boat, on the ocean. It's foggy. There's no land in sight. Holes keep appearing in the bottom of the boat and the water is seeping in."

It was not exactly a perfectly accurate description.

There were eyes in the fog.

Golden ones.

Circling.

Searching.

The water was ice cold, and black, and heavy. It would be so easy to let the boat fill up. Close your eyes. Never open them. Sink to the bottom where there wasn't anything left to feel but the cold and pressure.

Down.

Down.

Into the Abyss.

Where the eyes couldn't find him.

Circe laughed along with Emily's giggle, "That WAS me helping." Circe had her way of handling her anger. That she used her anger to draw out others' anger to make Glamour was probably not healthy for others. Tough breaks for them. Still, she has nibbles and coffee while the mundies talk it out. "Here here Freya. I prefer tequila ta beer."


She quirks an eyebrow as she gives Emily a sidelong glance at the mention of spiders. Then Freya spoke up. And Circe sagged with a sigh, "Oh, is it what pisses us off then? Or is it like that dude," she points at Theo, "said and is a like a anthropomorphic personification of our anger? Visualize and stuff. I mean," she smiles, "I'd rather do the second but can do the first too. My anger is large, belligerent, heavy on the dakka, loud, inaccurate, and with a massive troll smile." Circe had perked up as she made that description but then sagged again.


Frowning, "Do I hafta talk about what pisses me off? I warn ya I might slide inta Italian if I do."

Emily tries to listen to the others. "That's really cool," she says to Freya. "I never had the patience to learn and instrument. Do you play anywhere?"

Something about the way Theo describes his image is intense. A little too dark for how Emily is feeling. She casts another look at Leo and give him another smile, recrossing her legs in the chair.

"Circ, it's gonna be bad whatever language you say it in right?" Emily says lightly. "But if we don't know what you're saying I guess Val, uh, Doc Queen here can't... um... figure out if it helps or not? Right?" She looks at Val for confirmation.

Hmm. She'd have to do a better job of being explicit. Getting people confused was probably one of the last things she wanted to do in an Anger Management group. The first was picking a fight, like she'd done with Lucien, though the man had shown surprising restraint. There was hope there, though if he didn't take her up on her offer and call, she supposed there wasn't much else she could do but wish him well.

Of course, she couldn't dwell on that for now. The others were sharing, and she'd been asked a question.

"You can share a visualization of your anger, or you can share something you see that makes you angry. Either is fine. Whatever you're comfortable with. Either helps shed light on the source of what's causing the anger. Theo, for instance, shared something that I believe reflects on what he'd noticed earlier. A feeling of battling against impossible odds, or perhaps inevitability. A lack of control, or futile action. Does that sound correct?" she asked, meeting the handsome man's eyes before she moved her gaze to the grieving mother.


"In some ways, that's not dissimilar from you, Freya. What happened to you isn't something that could be controlled. What other people do can't be controlled. And that doesn't make it right, of course. It's no wonder it would make you angry, but I think that what you're doing, acknowledging it, is the healthiest thing you can do. Acknowledge it, and then learn to do what we can, with the things that we can control.
"So, why don't we do that next? Let's all name something that we can actually control, something that will help us process what makes us want to explode."

Her eyes tracked to Em, and her strange friend. Honestly, she wanted to bite their heads off for not really participating, but she understood. It was easier to pretend that you didn't have a problem and distract yourself from what you couldn't face then it was to really accept it.

Circe wasn't liking the topic of no control. She'd experienced that plenty in Arcadia. It'd be a pain to phrase it without sounding like a crazy person. Or being extra sassy while telling the truth. That'd probably get her kicked out for being a bitch and Circe was hoping to make this a regular stop for some Glamour.


The change in topic avoided that though. That was a good thing. And she even had something to reply with. "Where I hit at the gun range I guess," she is a blithe as possible when coming up with something she can control, "Or my laptop's software that I write. Eh, usually barring a coding error."

"I like to sing and play guitar." Leo said smirking as memories began to pour forth into his mind. Memories of home, of quiet nights with a fire, a guitar, and enough booze that even his Awakening couldn't convince him to drink it all alone. "I'm not from a huge city where you have TV and wifi everywhere you turn, so it's what we did for fun."

He seemed to shy away as Emily pinched his admittedly firm arm. As she offered her cup he gladly accepted it and made his way back to the coffee machine. He mixed the coffee with what she may soon recognize as some kind of whiskey and emptied the last of his flask into his coffee cup. It wasn't always a favorite pairing, but it got Bacchus his spike of Ecstasy with something relatively common in the city without too much attention. He returned to his seat with both cups, handing the one that was still mostly coffee to Emily.

As Circe and Freya talk about boxing Leo once perks up a bit more. "Don't suppose you teach Circe?" Sip. "I've been wanting to learn some self defense. New cities and few friends make for an anxious new beginning."

Of course he might be able to count on more people then he realized, but the corporate culture was still lingering in his mind.

Leo contemplated his possible friendships as Theo and Circe talked about their visions of anger. Neither really said anything that rang with the Shaman in any way he felt he could relate to, so he chose to stay silent and let the doctor do her job. He listened, and as she asked about something he could control he couldn't help but turn his gaze back down.

"I don't think it's a negative, but drinking with the right bunch of people always helped me cope. It can help loosen up and relax. It's fun."

And in the fleeting moments of the Fallen World that weren't filled with Lies and grinds, what was really wrong with wanting a little fun?

Emily gentle takes her hand back as "Leo" pulls away, with a small shrug. She watches him head over to the table, sneaking glances at his butt as he walks away. The smell of whiskey in her refreshed coffee tells her he picked up her hint long before it's handed to her. The werewolf lets her fingers rest on his for just a moment, looking up into his eyes and smiles gratefully before taking the cup. "Thanks. I owe you one."

The Ithaeur listens to Val doing her actual guidence. Between that and both Freya and Theo describing being isolation, she can feel the old memories being dredged up.

Coming home. Everyone missing. Being all alone.

How could Dad do that? I should have been there with the pack and instead he had to be all.... Dad about it and then I was just here...

Alone...

Emily squirms in the chair and wraps her arms round her, suddenly a lot more grateful for the alcohol in her cup, as she takes a sip and focuses on the alcohol instead of the coffee. She clamps down on those thoughts, hard, but it's clear to anyone watching that she recognises a lot of what's being discussed before throwing up her walls again. Knucking down on the emotions really seems to drain away a lot of Emily's bubbling confidence.

"Um. Getting away from it?" Emily ventures quietly. "We can... control where we are and if we're around what pisses us off we can back away until we know how to figure it out in a way that isn't... um... just, like, smacking him-er... it in the face? Maybe?" She really doesn't sound sure if that's going to be right or not.

"I-uh. I know exactly what that's like," She says to Leo. "Wanting to get away, have fun. What kinda people do you reckon are the right people?" There's a small, much more nervous smile, like she's thinking a lot about something else.

Emily's question earns a smile and a gentle shake of the Den Mother's head, "No. I've only just moved here." Freya gives a small nod of agreement to the doctor as she spoke of a similarity between her situation and Theo's before glancing to the rogue to give him a small, assuring smile. Valentina's next question elicits a confused look on Freya's face as she searches the smiling shrink's expression. Freya didn't really understand what she was asking, at first wondering if Valentina had asked about something related to her anger was able to be controlled. For Freya, their wasn't.

Then as others began to speak, an expression of realization lighted the woman's features alongside the visible mouthing of the word 'Oh.'

"I can... control my reaction when I miss a note playing music?" Freya offers, still somewhat questioning whether or not she had it right, "And then I can control how I recover."

As little Emily speaks, the Mother in Freya reacts, planting her gaze on her with a gentle firmness. Bluehair was getting more honest as the meeting proceeded and her nervousness was plain.

Poor dear...

The Den Mother's lips pressed together lightly, completing her expression of concern and empathy. She would have offered Emily a hug, if she didn't think it inappropriate for the setting. Instead, Freya simply committed the woman's face and name to memory. They were both in need of friends and Freya would be happy to offer it should the speak again soon. The idea of helping Emily pursue her desires occurred to Freya as well. The thought seemed shameful, as part of it related to thoughts of Harvest, but serving as a muse to help the woman pursue her dreams in order to overcome whatever her past had scarred her with did not. Freya wanted to help, she just didn't know how. Not yet.

"I ain't a certified drill sergeant but pointers is easy enough ta give out," Circe offers in reply to Bachhus. "Oh ho ho ho the biggest and first pointe I'll give ya now. Picture every cool gun scene ya've ever seen in movies," her tone and face are serious, "Now never try ta do ANY of that." She then casts her eyes over to Freya, "Though learnin' ta throw a good punch sounds useful. Aaaaand it'd have less legal troubles then usin' a gun."

And Emily is having problems. Circe is not exactly a positive influence here. But she was willing to help, "Hey amico, I think I'm fun. And I'd make sure ya didn't pound some asshat at a bar in the face," she is grinning from ear to ear, "I'd promise ta beat ya to doin' it."

Emily nods at Freya's talking. "Lotta places do open mikes. I could point you to a couple, I guess?"

She gives "Leo" another Look as Circe addresses him. "She totally would. Circe's a firecracker." She offers the brunette a small grin, before looking back into her coffee and taking another long swing.

Yeah. Distract. Talk to folks. Easier that way. Keep talking. Keep doing things. Don't let the dark catch you.

This is the quotes from the Anger Management thread, which skipped ahead. Here for reference.