Most people have feelings and know what they are. They know what caused them and how to go about dealing with them.They know when they are sad, happy, or mad and why they feel that way.

Then there was Sera.

'I can't feel anything at all
This life has left me cold and damned'

Some emotions and feelings were alien to her. Something that would cause most people to feel excited, like, scared her. Truly terrified her. She doesn’t know how to express them let alone navigate them.

This had been the norm for her the past couple years, it was how she protected herself and survived. No one could hurt you if they couldn’t get to you.

'Pain left below
The lifeless live again'

Passing through city after city, you learn to prey off those same emotions other show towards you.

As on man falls madly in love with you, you learn to exploit that feeling. Get anything and everything you need from him then simply move on. Without a bat of an eye or a second thought, you leave.

And he is left with the pieces of a broken heart.

But you don’t care. Why? Simply because it was a feeling you didn’t know. You’d never experienced it before! So why would you care if your absence ruins his life and his outlook on woman? It’s not your problem.

Things have now changed.

'Stay reformed
Erase this perfect world'

There is a new feeling stirring in her stomach, these butterflies seem to have taken up residence. Fluttering with a simple gesture. It started with a handhold and things changed.

And… it’s… terrifying.

What do you do with this? What does it mean? There must be something wrong with you? Is this some type of Hedge magic that you’ve never encountered before? Are you broken in some way?
But as much as it’s scary, it’s also exhilarating! It’s new! And it feels kind of nice? Yes, that’s it- nice. Did she want nice?

But what does it mean? What do you DO with it how are you supposed to express it?

Who can she talk to? Would they think she was crazy and somehow defective?

And the thought of navigating it alone, that just doesn’t appeal to her.

Not anymore. Not when she thinks she has friends she can turn to.

Lyrics from Breaking Benjamin 'Red Cold River'