She sat in her Haven, both of her .357’s in front of her on a table. Each sat in a various state of dissemble with the cleaning kit open, tools spread out. Out of habit she tied a rag to each guns cylinder, preventing it from closing. The barrel bore brush was dipped in the cleaning solution before being gently twisted into the length of barrel, pulled out and placed back in, the process repeated a few times.

Usually cleaning her guns relaxed her, but not tonight. Her mind kept wandering over what had happened with Alice, about how she laid staked, suffering through whatever Torpor attacked the mind with. Her own experience not a pleasant one, and she didn’t want that for Alice.

“Fanculo!” she curses under her breath as the brush slipped from her fingers. Pausing, she sets the gun down, closing her eyes and takes a moment.

Ever since she had pushed that stake into Alice, she had been raked by various emotions. Ones she wasn’t sure how to deal with.

Sure, part of her knew she was simply doing what she thought best. But the other part? The nagging part?

She actually felt guilty about it. This was new to the Savage, to the woman who had successfully ran a Mafia Family back in Sicily. The woman who struck fear into those beneath her, the woman who always kept feelings out of work.

So to have that guilt clawing at her mind was killing her. She shouldn’t be feeling it, but she was. Had she gone too far? Should she have ignored what happened and lied to Asa if it ever came up? The logical part of her mind told her no, that she did what she had to. But the logical part was beginning to be overtaken by those feelings.

Which she hated. Emotions had no place in business, no place in her doing her job.

They made her uncomfortable, they were something she didn’t know how to handle. But why was she feeling them? After all these years, why now? This whole feelings thing wasn't supposed to happen. Not to her, and not now. But they had, and it both intrigued and infurated her.

Sighing, she picks up a cleaning pad, dipped in cleaning solution, and inserts it into the barrel. Using the bore brush, she lowers the cleaning pad into the inside of the barrel, over and over until all the dirt was removed.

As she did this with the other gun, her mind continued to work over the whole Alice thing.

Was it because Alice had been the first Kindred, outside her Clan, who truly saw her? Looked past the numerous tattoos that decorated her body? Saw past her Criminal ties and really saw her? She had shared things with Alice that she hadn’t even shared with Family.

Next the barrel muzzle was cleaned with a brass bristle brush. When each had been cleaned, and each cylinder cleaned, she reached for the gun oil. As the guns were wiped and polished, she realized something.

Alice had been a friend to her when she had never really had one. Had allowed her to be open and honest with her emotions. And that, that scared the shit out of her.

And the blind doll deserved better than having her as a friend and Coterie Mate. And she knew then that when Alice awoke, things would be revealed. Emotions, probably anger, would be shared, things hashed out.

But she was ok with that. With whatever Alice felt towards her when she awoke, she would accept.

Though in her unbeating heart she knew the truth, she didn't want to lose the friendship she had with Alice. And silently hopes she hadn't.