Necessary Discussions

[Mhairi Ankaa]

"I know that. It's happened before. Before and After. But I can normally deal with it. I'm not crazy. But Brown....no one in my life. Before or Now, has ever made me so irrationally angry before. If I thought - if I could have thought passed my angry a few minutes ago, I wouldn't have made such a spectacle over the Pledge."

A sigh, a stillness, then.

"Do you...I didn't sense anything, but do you think he worked a Clause of Fleeting Summer over me?" that could be one explanation as to why she'd become such a raving mess. Inciting Wrath and directing it....making the Wisp seem completely incapable of being Director....yeah. She could see someone doing that, not just to her, but to anyone in power they didn't like.

A head shake, "I remember his name. I've heard people talk about him, but I didn't meet him." Maybe she should have, but why would Harvey have paid the stuttering wisp any attention when she first arrived. "Maybe...but the difference is they were established. They'd been hear for years. It wasn't just arrogance for the sake of it, or undeserved, they'd been here, and done things and payed dearly for everything they'd gained....and lost. So. It's different."

"I know I'm going to have to talk to him. But maybe after his temper has a chance to cool." which was weird to see, this was the first indication that his place within Summer wasn't a mistake. "If that ever happens..." a sigh. "If I don't speak with him soon...I don't think he'll want to talk to me during Autumn." then she'd have double the power over the Darkling, "We might want to set up a booth or something at the Note during Winter. That's a neutral place and time. Probably for the best."

Mhairi sees the Onyx Queen's palm and stares at it for a moment before she's clued in to what she's supposed to do with it. Tentatively Mhairi places her own hand on top of Sasha's, silently fretting that her quicksilver coated and dripping fingers would burn the Dancer. If she'd been a Snowskin, well. Mhairi doubted that she'd even take the women's hand.

"Thank you." she says softly. "I've been trying so hard to be what everyone wants me to be, and be strong enough for Autumn and the 'hold, but I'm in over my head. And people!" Mhairi gets out a gasp, tears gathering, the flames that were her eyes, flickering erratically. The salted water steams before they could escape.

"....they're so confusing."

[Mhairi Ankaa]

"I wish I could tell you." Mhairi lets out another sigh, this time through the hands covering her face. "But....I just don't fucking know."

Her hands move from her face to the table, as her head meets them there. "Great. Now it's just me, and my inadequacies." It would have been great, wonderful, perfect even if there was a Clause at work, she could blame the magic, and the Summer who'd invoked it.

She pushes herself up, "I will." fell-flames meeting violets. "This is...it's just too...volatile...for a meeting between the two of us. We'd need a mediator...a neutral third party to see us though it all." and if nothing could be done with that, if a neutral setting, Season and third party couldn't help....maybe they'd best think about a Good Neighbors Pact. "I don't want complete segregation, that's never a good thing. But it's our differences and our willingness to the passing of the Crown that keeps us safe....I want a Commons. A wonderful place for every Freeholder regardless of Court, or lack of one. But each Court needs to retain something that's only theirs."

At the nod, Mhairi smiles - or tries too. Instead of responding to the offer Sasha made, Mhairi started off with a bit of herself. "When...Before. I was a conwomen and a thief, I was quick sly and ruthless in my youth. A little girl with a wobbly smile and bright shiny eyes, with tear stained cheeks going on about losing their mom...I got a lot of wallets that way. Hell. Mom hot wired a few cars, while I had the drivers distracted. That was my life. I didn't know anything else. There...." a shaky breath, "There...after I was...different. My life depended on my reading a room, and Their faces. But I learned how to read Them...and lost how to read us." a mirthless laugh, and a part of Mhairi needed to remember that sound, because she'd just done it, and if she could match that to someone else, she'd know what it meant. "The other day, I was walking down the street and I cut someone off, and there coffee spilt all over her. Her..face...it was...angry...?" hesitance, before a nod, "It was. I didn't get it. I helped her clean up, because coffee's hot, and heat can hurt, when your normal. But because I didn't get it, she got more angry. I didn't get any of it, at all. Even when she started sniping at me. It wasn't until I felt the Glamour that I realized...I think I asked her if she was mad at me, and the look on her face....she asked if I was retarded."

Another sigh.

"I try to pay attention, and I try to remember what facial twitches mean what, but....sometimes, after a long day...it all goes out and I'm just stupid. So. Yeah, how's that for a vent?" a laugh, a little forced, but it was there. "So, yeah. Um. Yeah. I'd like to just be able to vent, and not be The Director, or The Queen. You're the only one who remembers me when I just got here, and I'd love to stay we're friends, or at least friendly...and I think I can call Sera a friend too, I'm 'spinning her a jacket and we keep running into each other, and she doesn't head the other way....so. I think that's good. Right?"

Then quietly, after a moment.

"If you need someone where you can just be Sasha around...I'm here too."

[Mhairi Ankaa]

A nod. Followed by a laugh, "Now that Fairweather is dead, I don't see any reason to hold off on the Commons." fell-flames flicker, "I wasn't here when we had one....and I know none of the new Lost, or most of them, haven't even heard of the Commons...So yeah. It's long overdue."

"If I didn't remember how I used to be...well. I don't. But I do. Fragments." she shakes her head, "I wouldn't even know I was missing something. But I do...so I'm trying....I've been watching movies, and just people watching." Her pocket watching had turned into actual people watching. "Going out more. Just to experience the world again, but..." her head shakes. It was hard. She tried, but there was just something in her nature that blocked her out of many things she used to find easy.

"Terri." Mhairi starts before the memory of the Truefriend flashes before her eyes, emaciated and enslaved once more. "I-uh-I..." stammering like she used to. "Hedgespinning. I've been doing that." a drippy finger touches her choker, but stays away from her fans, "And Sera's getting a jacket from me. I was going to do something for Lucian, since he was King - like a present, but...uh....yeah." she shakes her head again, "So that's gotten me interested in...well. I love shoes. And. I just want to make things. So. Sera said she'd model my stuff, which is really cool. I want to get into fashion....and I can't afford to put my foot in my mouth there. So...I'm trying to learn." a blink, "If any of that made any sense."

A nod, "We need to have a standing date just to veg and vent and be Mhairi and Sasha without all of this" hands come up and gesture, finding the table again when Sera and her amazing angelic voice is brought up, part of Mhairi wished she could sing like the Nix....and the other realized that she was being stupid. She shouldn't wish for that. Mhairi didn't know what had happened over There, and what was done to the Nix to get her to sing so sweetly.

"I get that. You're the Winter Queen and with that....people expect something very different, and project they're expectations on you....or maybe that's just me. They hear I'm the Dread Queen and I see the Fear...that's one thing I know well enough to know without needing to be told about."

[Mhairi Ankaa]

A nod, "Yeah that sounds like it would work best."

"Huh." Mhairi tilts her head, and considers, "I've heard of it. Seen previews about it a looooong time ago. But I never really connected that to-uh-to me. Maybe I should have." Mhairi pulls out her phone, and taps a quick note. A reminder to herself. "Thanks. I'll check it out."

Mhairi laughs, "It might be!" happy that was what Sasha chose to say instead of comparing her to the Truefriend.

A heavy nod, "Yeah...she scared me half to death and I only met her that once, when I Swore that very first Winter." Fell-flames flicker as Mhairi remembers that cold women, and the eyes that fell on her that first time. "Yeah...I think that you're doing awesome for braking that stereotype...you're not who I think of when I think of Winter, and I think that's a good thing. I wish that someone like you is who I think of when I think of Winter. Someone there to help and listen, who's happy, but not...I don't know...manically so."

A head shake. The phone slips back into a pocket.

"Cool." A nod. "Very-ah-very cool." a smile.

Think this sounds like a good place to wrap?

[Mhairi Ankaa]

A nervous spark of a laugh, the wisp's fell-flames darting, paranoid that here in a place of Winter Katrin could still hear. "I know that was one of my Fears." that, and the Snowskin's eyes, that stare. The thought that Mhairi wasn't good enough for the 'hold and so her Pledge wouldn't be accepted and she would have to find a new home.

A heavy nod, "I understand that, maybe Winter just needs some more life. People who also want to brake that stereotype. Like Daniel." Mhairi could say for certain, that will all those that had left the 'hold Daniel was among those at the top of the list of those she missed.

Mhairi's head hangs, "Thanks for listening to me. I guess I really needed it."

Standing, and giving the Dancer a small, but heartfelt smile, "I will."

With a wave of her drippy fingered hand, Mhairi leaves the office and makes her way out of the Maze.

End Scene