Was he using as an excuse? A bit. On the other hand, there wasn’t really anything he wasn’t committing to either.
“Maybe,” he finally admitted “I’ve probably fallen into a survival mindset. Anxiety comes easily to me, unfortunately. And I doubt that will be changing anytime some.” Not unless he found several dozen people on anti-anxiety medication to feed off of and even then he wasn’t sure how his physiology even worked anymore.
“Would you feel better if I didn’t stay?” JC asked. It did sound harsh but he appreciated the honesty. “I’d rather not risk our friendship if that’s the case.”